Facebook Pixel

On Leaving Your Mother, Part 2: 10 Steps to Freedom from a Narcissist

By HERWriter
Rate This
On Leaving Your Mother, Part 2: 10 Steps of Freedom from a Narcissist andriano_cz/Fotolia

Join book clubs, fitness classes, college courses, professional organizations or prayer groups where you will meet healthy women. Cultivate these friendships, but continue to rely on #3 above.

It is mythology, and one you will hear often, that other women will be the mother you never had. When “The Secret Life of Bees” was published, innumerable women told me, referring to my upbringing, “You have to read this book!”

A houseful of nurturing African American women is not waiting to take you in and heal your wounded places. The book is fiction. Seek healthy, nurturing women to add to your life, but remember they will always have their own obligations, relationships and priorities. It is a temptation to have unrealistic expectations of others.

When you witness mothering that reminds you of what you never had, the practice of prayer or mindfulness will allow you to acknowledge that pain and sit with the discomfort.

In the third and final chapter of “On Leaving Your Mother,” I’ll address what comes next: the healing, and the repercussions, of emancipating yourself from emotional abuse.

I would love to hear your success stories in the comments below.


The Narcissistic Mother. psychologytoday.com. Retrieved September 21, 2015.

Forms of Narcissistic Abuse. DaughtersofNarcissisticMothers.com. Retrieved September 22, 2015.

Reviewed September 22, 2015
by Michele Blacksberg RN
Edited by Jody Smith

Add a CommentComments

There are no comments yet. Be the first one and get the conversation started!

Enter the characters shown in the image.
By submitting this form, you agree to EmpowHER's terms of service and privacy policy

We value and respect our HERWriters' experiences, but everyone is different. Many of our writers are speaking from personal experience, and what's worked for them may not work for you. Their articles are not a substitute for medical advice, although we hope you can gain knowledge from their insight.

Emotional Health

Get Email Updates

Emotional Health Guide

Have a question? We're here to help. Ask the Community.


Health Newsletter

Receive the latest and greatest in women's health and wellness from EmpowHER - for free!