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Is your paycheck worth the price you pay for it? This is a difficult question and one we struggle to answer monthly, weekly, sometimes daily or even on a minute by minute basis.
For those lucky few of us, our jobs are wonderful. We enjoy what we do and feel comfortable in our place of business. We have a business or co-workers who make us feel we belong.
And for others of us things are not great, but bearable. We know what it is we have to do, and we, as responsible adults, go in and do it, day in and day out, without dropping the ball.
But what about those of us for whom our jobs are a cause of anxiety, frustration, anger, sadness, despair, and depression? What about those of us who feel emotionally and psychologically abused by our co-workers or our administrators, our supervisors or our evaluators? In these situations we question every day and sometimes every moment of every day, what we should or can do. We wonder constantly if there's another way, another job, a different way of living; one in which we do not have to compromise our dignity, our self esteem, our very spirits to pay our mortgage or our rent, our doctor's bills or our kids' orthodontist payments.
How do we escape the cycle of abuse and low self-esteem that a terrible job comes with? Is the money even worth it once you've established that the money is paying for the house you live in where you spend every moment dreading the morning when you have to leave it once more? It's a vicious, toxic cycle that may, at times, feel unbreakable but there is hope and it's a real, tangible hope for everyone regardless of your circumstances.
Here's a way out:
* Begin brainstorming about things you enjoy that you may not have thought about for years. Did you have a hobby in high school that you pushed aside in favor of something else? Do you like to do certain things that you just do for fun but which may have the potential to earn you extra income?
* Let yourself begin to dream about what life might be like without this toxicity. This is called 'visualization' and the deeper and more detailed you can make your vision, the more courage you will have to manifest it. Have you ever heard of prisoners surviving years of captivity by building their dream house, brick by brick, in their own imaginations as a means of staying free and sane? The same principle applies here except that if you can visualize a new set of activities which may support you financially, you could actually end up putting it into practice.
* Ask yourself if your parents had you and raised you in order for you to be treated terribly. Ask yourself if you would abide your own children being treated the way you are currently being treated. If the answer to either of these questions is "no," then you owe it to yourself to begin to at least imagine a different scenario.
* Break down your finances and find fat to trim. Are you in dire need of the Starbucks runs or can you cut those out? Can you hang onto an older car without considering a new one? Can you get rid of cable? What else may be possible?
*Slowly and discreetly begin putting your resume out there but don't talk to anyone at work about this. Believe in your strengths and begin to focus on them. After all, if you were hired at this position, you will be hired again. You are, after all, the same person and even though the economy has changed, your skills have not.
* Look at this current situation as a learning situation and begin detaching from it emotionally. Your job is not your life. You will have other jobs.
* Finally, dream and don't stop dreaming. If you think life can be better, you are right. No one deserves the depression and despair that comes with waking up every day to go to a job they despise, no matter how much they need the money. There is always another way, another job, another possibility. I am not condoning quitting with no options -- no one needs to be irresponsible because they are unhappy. But as the captain of the ship of your life, you owe it to yourself to steer clear of danger.
Aimee Boyle is a regular contributor to EmpowHER.
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