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How do I know if he is seeing someone else?

By January 8, 2012 - 5:53am

My boyfriend and I have been together for nearly 10 years. I first met him at work, i knew his dad before i knew him, i worked with his dad before my boyfriend was hired at the same company. When i left we were best friends for 8 months before we got together. We now own 2 houses and he has recently asked me to marry him. I love him very much and i know he loves me but we have not been "intimate" for about 2 years. When I asked him about this he says it is because I swear alot when I am angry or frustrated he finds this sexually unattractive and repulsive although he finds me attractive the swearing is a real turn off for him.. When I o out with friends he brings up me being with other guys and how does he know that I dn't cheat on him, although he knows I wouldn't because I have been cheated on in the past. I am not sure what to do. We are supposed to be getting married in less than a year but don't know how to fix this I don't honestly feel this is the only reason. What are you honest thoughts?
Thank you

By January 21, 2012 - 4:53am

I think you need to speak to him as its the only way your youll get answers. The bit where you say he wont have sex with you because you swear alot sounds like an excuse, if this is the case then stop swearing around him and see what happens. Two years is a very long time, maybe somethings bothering him or hes got things on his mind, whatever it is you have to talk to him cause i dont think men can last that long without it; espeically if its being offered to them. From what ive read i feel as though your partner maybe insecure/have trust issues as if he keeps talking about you to his friends the way he does it sounds like he doesnt trust you or something in his past may have lead him to think all women are the same. You need to talk to him about this. Personally i would hold off the wedding until youve talked it through, if after a couple weeks or a month theres no improvements than i would rethink marriage as you will be spending your whole life with this guy, if your having these doubts now or if he still is acting theway he is then what will it be like when your both married.

January 21, 2012 - 4:53am
EmpowHER Guest
By Anonymous January 8, 2012 - 6:38am

Honest thoughts: If you are coming here to ask questions, there is a reason or your gut feeling. So instead of taking him to Jerry Springer, ask him. Secondly, are you happy with a sexless marriage? What about you? Remember that we can only control ourselves and not others.....you can control you and maybe you should really think about what you want. In many cases, people do not change and relationships are based on what we can and cannot deal with. It is up to you.


I hope this helps.


January 8, 2012 - 6:38am

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