I am still in disbelief that I am in the hospital again after being discharged just the other day. This whole nonsense about being home for less than 24 hours before going back to the hospital is almost comical.
Yesterday I had some tests done. So far they have not found the root of the problem causing my back pain. I am concerned that they just want to manage the pain by giving me more meds. This is exactly what the other hospitals did. I know my body well enough to know that there is something else going on.
The only thing I can think of would be that I have new mets to my upper spine. The funny thing is that the doctors said that they did not see any new lesions in that area. Their solution for now is to try radiation again. I am a little concerned because I have had about 30 treatments and still no change. I just have a feeling that 10 more targeted to the area on my back is not going to make a huge difference. I sure hope I am wrong.
Today I had to get “marked” for radiation. The one thing that is different is that I have to wear a mask to keep my head still. It is a plastic contraption that is fit to each individual’s head. As I lay on the radiation table, the nurse told me I would feel a hot sensation and then it would be over. Sure enough, the nurses put a hot plastic sheet on my face. It was a scary and strange sensation. At first I felt like I couldn’t breathe because of the heat and the plastic over my mouth and nose. I guess this is where they cut to make holes so that I don’t suffocate in the mask.
I am worried that the doc wants to keep me here the whole weekend to manage the pain. Part of me wants to go home because the radiation can be done as an outpatient procedure. On the other hand, I am scared that the pain will start up again and will be worse. There have been a couple of times already where my back hurt so bad that I couldn’t breathe. Currently it hurts to do regular household tasks since I have to use my back and left arm. Even taking a shower this morning became an event because I couldn’t hold the towel or the hairdryer.
Gina is gone this weekend, the marketing girls have off over the weekend, and Megan leaves tomorrow morning, so it is going to be a very quiet weekend. If anyone wants to come visit, please let me know. I would love the company!