Improved
6112 HealthChanged
3785 LivesSaved
3568 Lives0 lives impacted in the last 24 hrs Learn More
Today is Wednesday, July 15. I am still here at the Cancer Treatment Centers in Goodyear, AZ. I’m not sure how long I will be here. I originally was admitted on Sunday because I had stomach issues and a fever. That pain slowly subsided and by Monday I had a new set of problems with my hip.
The doc ordered some X-rays and I am still waiting to hear the official written report. One of the nurses told me that unofficially there were no fractures. Whew! It must just be the cancer pain. The annoying thing is that now the pain seems to radiate down into my leg and lower back. It seems to be the worse when I am trying to sit up or down and get in and out of bed.
I am back on the pain pump now, which allows me to self-administer pain medication every eight minutes with the push of a button. This is great because I don’t need to count on calling the nurses every time I have pain. On the other hand, they will now have to wean me off the pain pump and the IV pain meds before sending me home.
Today Tera came by to visit and CTCA had hired a photographer to take pictures of patients and their loved ones at no charge. The photographer came to my room and set up lighting so I could have pics taken in the privacy of my room. How nice is that? I guess they will be sending me the photos on a CD or e-mail shortly.
The photographer was nice enough to also take a picture or two on my camera as well. In the picture below, we are holding a pillow that says, “Hope.” I guess there is a lady or group that makes these pillows for patients. I have to say that I have never met so many eager volunteers who truly enjoy the work they are doing and the help or support they are giving to others…all without being paid a dime.
Tomorrow my cousin Julie from California is coming to town to be a caregiver. I feel bad that I am still here the hospital, but at least it’s not as bad as some of the other hospital rooms that the other caregivers have had to endure. I am hoping that I can get out of here and we can at least do some sort of sightseeing or quick day trip.
I found out today that I have done nine out of 15 radiation treatments that were scheduled, so I won’t have that commitment anymore, unless they decide that I need to do some radiation on my hip bones. I wouldn’t be surprised if that were the case.
A few months ago a guy named Brian had sent me a comment on my blog asking if I knew of any good oncologists or support groups. We had exchanged a couple of e-mails and I had not heard from him since. Yesterday I received an e-mail from him asking if I would like a visitor. I was excited to finally meet someone around my own age that had cancer that I could relate to! It turns out that Brian had some sort of throat cancer and yesterday was the first time that he actually was able to drink real liquids since his diagnosis in February 2009.
He was in really good spirits because he had just received a clean bill of health. That’s right! No more cancer for him! We shared our trials and tribulations of fighting this disease and the whole time I kept thinking that some of the things he had to deal with were much worse than mine. Ironically, he was thinking the same thing about me. I guess there is no right or wrong answer to who suffers more or which cancer is worse. It effects everyone differently, including caregivers, family and friends. I am so happy to hear that he is clear of cancer, but at the same time it makes sad and filled with envy.
I keep hearing stories of patients that are being cured and it frustrates me knowing that I will never be fully cured. I just wonder when it will be my time to at least go into remission. Each day, week and month that goes by, I feel as though I am being tested on my ability to handle the situation. Someone once told me that “God only gives you what you can handle.” I guess this could be true.
Throughout this process I have really had to adapt to different situations. Sometimes, though, I wonder if I would have made it through the first couple of months without the heavy-duty pain medication. It is a lot to deal with being diagnosed with cancer. I remember feeling a little overwhelmed at times thinking about all of the insurance paperwork, work stuff, getting to appointments, keeping my medications straight, being positive and still being thankful to everyone that has helped along the way.
Somehow during this process I have found sort of a happy medium and have learned how to deal with some of the emotions and tolerate the physical complications. It does get difficult though when day after day there is no good news and symptoms are getting progressively worse. At least the doctors are adaptable and when they find a treatment is not working, they will switch it up and try something new. It would be insane to keep doing the same thing and expect different results. I just wonder how many more verebroplasties they can do on my back before the entire vertebrae is filled with cement!
Link to blog: http://themelissawaller.wordpress.com/2009/07/15/july-15-2009/
Add a Comment3 Comments
Hey Melissa,
July 17, 2009 - 1:29pmHope you are feeling better today! I saw the pictures on your blog and you look so beautiful!!! Love the "hope" pillow as well!
Keeping you in my prayer,
Angelica
This Comment
Bummer to still be in the hospital. But I'm so impressed with your attitude. I hope you feel better soon.
July 16, 2009 - 2:28pmThis Comment
Hi Melissa,
Sorry to hear you are still in hospital and the pain in your hip is radiating down your leg! I look forward to seeing the photos that were taken in your room. That was so nice! Great to know you are being looked after well. All the best for the weekend.
July 16, 2009 - 2:15pmThis Comment