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Over the course of our adult lives, women get somewhat attached to our cycle. It's part of us; we operate our lives on this cycle. At some point this cycle changes and we know what it means for our bodies but what does it mean to our identity?
It takes us a few years to learn how to live in harmony with our cycles and many times wish we could get rid of it. It does, however, remind us that we are the life line for the next generation. It reminds us of what power we hold.
It's also part of our identity sexually. I always identified myself as a powerful, sexy diva. I very much embraced that as part of my identity as a woman. I had no idea how much my hormonal balance was a big deal and made all that possible.
When I entered into menopause at 43, I wasn't ready to give up that part of my identity. Rather than feel like a sexy diva, I felt like a wreck. Not only did I feel like a wreck, but I felt cheated. I was supposed to have another few years before I entered into menopause...right? I felt like a young woman in an old woman's body. I saw the signs of rapid aging, my skin was different, I put on a few pounds and things were operating differently sexually.
For a couple of months I felt depressed about it. I wasn't prepared mentally for it. I was physically drained and it was physically painful. I acknowledged the change and came to the point where I decided that my body doesn't change my identity. I drive my health and I decided to do something.
I had aligned myself with some good people who were interested in a natural approach to health. Yoga was a good place for info and so was my chiropractor. My chiropractor told me about a compounding pharmacy and I started from there. I educated myself on what was happening to my body, I found Web sites like EmpowHer.com, I found some good books and I went to seminars.
Once I got everything back in balance physically, I could sort out the emotions and the meaning. I could have let this event take me out. I couldn't change the event. I couldn't change the outcome. What I could change was how I felt about it and what it meant. Rather than feeling depressed and old, I felt totally energized. When I got my physical energy back, I realized how free I was. I felt released from this cycle that drove my life. That was so powerful for me.
I am now in a season of discovery. I find that I am able to take care of my own needs without guilt and I am more willing to do things for myself. I still take care of the things my family needs but I feel like I have myself back. I can focus on things in life that I love and haven't touched in years. I started writing; I have two blogs. I also bought myself a sketch pad and started drawing again, and I have started learning golf. I'm also getting out and meeting other women. I have a message for women and I aim to show them how wonderfully free I am now.
In life, when an event happens, we get to pick what it means. Menopause could have meant I was old and past it, and I could have stayed depressed about it, but I chose for it to mean freedom and a whole new life and vitality. My body doesn't determine my identity. I do.
Add a Comment12 Comments
I love the article-Definitely can relate to this regarding identity. I know for me I had some of those same feelings and emotions. Glad I took my identity in my hands and searched for natural healthy alternatives to help me deal with my menopause. We all all need to know that we can be the sexy diva's. Menopause does not control me, I control menopause. Tally
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July 3, 2009 - 6:48pmThis Comment
CharlotteSal,
Wonderful column. It IS a confusing time of life, because all those hormones in transition affect us in every way -- mentally, physically, spiritually. I am happy to read how you've come through your journey. I'm not quite to the other side of it yet, but I'm on the way. Thanks again for your point of view.
July 3, 2009 - 6:40pmThis Comment