Recently, I had the opportunity to attend TED2014 and I was very excited about what psychologist Philip Zimbardo had to say. He spoke about how men are failing socially, academically and with women. His TED talk struck a nerve with me.

The debate is on about how we as a nation are failing our boys and men, and many fingers, including Zimbardo’s, are pointing to our technology-driven society (namely violent video games and easy access to pornography) and schools that aren’t as “boy friendly.”

I agree: it is time we step up to the plate and support our boys early on, before they become disengaged men.

Our boys are immersed in technology that is altering their brains

The shift in our culture toward increased technology time – television, video games, the internet, and social media – is not without consequence.

Whenever you watch anything on television, your imagination pulls you into what you’re watching. As a result, you react emotionally as if whatever is happening on television is actually happening to you. Consider that the average American youth spends approximately 50 hours per week in front of some sort of screen or another, whether playing video and computer games or watching television. That’s a LOT of screen time, to say the least. Consistent exposure to violent video games, television shows, and movies, as well as pornography, can impact the brain and actually alter its architecture.

According to Dr. John P. Murray, “Viewing behavior in media triggers certain areas of the brain that are associated with ‘arousal/attention, detection of threat, episodic memory encoding and retrieval, and motor programming’.” Murray’s study mapped the amygdala and related brain structures, using functional magnetic resonance imaging to ascertain the neurological changes that resulted from watching violence on television. He concluded that a relationship existed between the chemistry of the brain and violent viewing, which affected both cognitive and motor behavior.

Therefore, when boys are exposed to media violence, it becomes stored in the brain in a manner similar to post-traumatic stress disorder memories. Another study by Dr. Craig A. Anderson involving media violence exposure in youth, found that even short-term viewing of violence can increase physical and verbal aggression, aggressive thoughts and aggressive emotions. In fact, according to Anderson, frequent exposure to media violence during childhood can lead to aggressive behavior later in life, including physical and spousal abuse.

This research on violent viewing and its effects on children have surprisingly uncovered that chemicals, such as cortisol -- that change the architecture of the brain, including impulse control -- are doing so because children’s brains are actually imitating the violence that they are seeing. In a sense, the mind is rehearsing and imitating the aggressive behavior viewed. As a result, aggressive behavior and aggressive responses become an acceptable option later on when children are confronted with conflict. Dr. Murray calls this brain behavior “encoding aggressive scripts,” and states that the posterior cingulate, a part of the brain that holds emotional trauma, stores these neural images and retrieves them in a manner similar to the flashbacks of traumatic memory, which are present in post-traumatic stress disorder. Excessive viewing of video games also impacts brain function in a similar manner.

According to Dr. Vincent Matthews at Indiana University, “Behavioral studies have shown an increase in aggressive behavior after playing violent video games, and what we show is a physiological explanation for what the behavioral studies are showing.” Dr. Matthews’ research demonstrates brain changes directly related to only two hours of violent viewing daily. The brain changes that Matthews' group saw were similar to those seen in teens with destructive sociopathic disorders.

Dr. Anderson stated, “The most recent thorough review of the research on media violence, by an expert panel convened by the US surgeon general concluded, ‘Research on violent television, films, video games, and music reveals unequivocal evidence that media violence increases the likelihood of aggressive and violent behavior in both immediate and long-term contexts.’ Hundreds of original empirical studies of the link between media violence and aggression have been conducted and numerous reviews of those studies-both narrative and statistical- have come to the same conclusion.” Further, they cite a finished study by Kaj Bjorkqvist in which he concluded that “even a single exposure increases aggression in the immediate situation.” And longitudinal studies demonstrate that children who played a lot of video games through childhood were more physically aggressive throughout their life.

Our boys are losing critical social skills by being tied to technology

Throughout my experience as a researcher and educator, and based on the aforementioned scientific research, it stands to reason that the impersonal culture of the internet has the capability of blocking our nation’s boys from fulfilling their share of future leadership potential. True social interaction, necessary for adult success in work and in life, isn’t being taught to these boys because they are immersed in mostly virtual relationships without consequences. In a way, boys who spend too much time interacting only online and through video games stay immature because they don’t get to experience the real consequences of their feelings, thoughts, and actions. They don’t learn how to deal. They’re not learning the social skills one needs to succeed in the world as a functioning adult.

Our boys are falling behind and dropping out of academics

As boys sink further socially, they also sink academically. A recent Gallup Student Poll suggests that boys have a weaker emotional connection with school as early as fifth grade, and that more than one in four boys are not engaged or actively disengaged in fifth grade.

Some researchers suggest that boys are disengaged and getting lower grades in class because our schools are not “boy-friendly.” In their book, The Rise of Women: The Growing Gender Gap in Education and What It Means for American Schools, Thomas A. DiPrete and Claudia Buchmann, sociology professors at Columbia and Ohio State, said that “Boys involved in extracurricular cultural activities such as music, art, drama, and foreign languages report higher levels of school engagement and get better grades than other boys. But these activities are often denigrated as un-masculine."

According to the National Center for Educational Statistics, boys and men are falling behind academically and socially:

Research can pinpoint areas that contribute to the troubling statistics, including increasing technology use, specifically increased time playing violent video games and watching pornography.

What can we do about it?

We may not be able to change our education system or the video game industry overnight, but we do have some control as parents to help ensure our own sons do not fall through the cracks.