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The Christmas Portrait

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At our annual Thanksgiving meal, my nephew’s wife (my “niece-in-law??”) asked me to take some portraits of their family to use on their Christmas card. I was honored, so she and her husband (my nephew) and their 2-year-old son all gathered on the deck and we took about 50 shots in various poses with various backgrounds.

The photos came out pretty good, if I say so myself!

They downloaded them into their computer and she started the selection process. After about 30 minutes she came to me, obviously stressed by indecision, and said that they had narrowed it down to three. Would I please help them decide?

The three photos were almost identical. The settings/backgrounds were identical, the lighting was the same, and they were all in focus and very clear and sharp. There were, however, very slight differences in facial expressions. VERY slight differences.

In a situation like this when there are such minor differences, it’s hard to decide, isn’t it? No, it isn't.

Just pick one and move on. Here’s why: no one else is going to see your alternatives and then have an opinion. If they are all good when seen separately, then it really doesn’t matter. Think about it.

I understand that we want to make the best choice among our alternatives, no matter what the subject or situation. But when the last few alternatives are all equally good, then just pick one and be done with it. Agonizing over which photo shows the most or least freckles (a silly example) is a waste of time and energy … and stressful too! In the end, does it really matter? C’mon… does it REALLY matter? I’ll bet it doesn’t, which means you are stressing and spending energy on something that doesn’t matter!

When it comes right down to it, I think we are concerned about what others will think of our choice. The point here is that no one will know your alternatives; in this case, all they will see is the ONE photo they chose, so if it is a great one then you have been successful.

Knowing this, I looked at the three photos and just picked one; she was relieved and we enjoyed the rest of our day together.

This article is one in a series on coping strategies for patients and caregivers alike. For more thoughts on caregiving, coping strategies, reducing stress, and just plain fun subscribe to my free monthly newsletter at http://www.CaringAndCoping.com Need a speaker for an upcoming event? I have a program that will knock your socks off! Watch video clips at http://www.ThePPP.org/speaking/#handle

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dorothygwinn

We too had spent some time deciding which family portrait to choose as a Christmas present to our family. After much thinking we decided to go with the one that also had our cute pet with us as it made the photograph complete.

June 5, 2015 - 2:49am

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Dave Balch
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We value and respect our HERWriters' experiences, but everyone is different. Many of our writers are speaking from personal experience, and what's worked for them may not work for you. Their articles are not a substitute for medical advice, although we hope you can gain knowledge from their insight.