“They want to take all the memories of that person and treasure them because that was a period of their lives and they can still move on,” Heitler said.
One thing to keep in mind is that thoughts of an ex can interfere with your life if you let them.
“Each time those thoughts come up, distract yourself,” Heitler said. “You can’t block them from coming up, but you can stop yourself from dwelling on that person. What you need to do is weaken the ties with them, so you don’t want to be dwelling on them because that reinforces the ties.”
One of the best ways to move on is to “build something new,” she said.
“Build new friendships, take on new activities, get a new puppy, take a trip,” Heitler said. “New is good.”
In a Psychology Today blog, the author suggested five ways to get over a breakup: sharing your feelings with others, meditate, sleep, exercise and have “imaginary conversations with the ex.”
A website, www.ahealthyme.com, which is part of the Blue Cross Blue Shield of Massachusetts, said that taking care of yourself is important, including watching your diet and maintaining a normal energy level. Volunteering, taking a class or doing something creative (music, art, writing, etc.) can all help you improve yourself and meet new friends.
Heitler’s websites: www.Therapyhelp.com, www.Po2.com