My therapy for obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD), can often be tiresome. Like I said in one article, there are times when I really don't want to see the therapist. I have told Dr. Romero this, and she was understanding. I am sure that psychiatrists have studied this form of resistance. It is not easy to walk into a room and discuss your disorder, and that includes the progress you have made, as well as the setbacks.
The progress is a sign that you are improving, but it is never fast enough. The setbacks can weigh you down and can sometimes obliterate the progress. It's not an easy road altogether, which can sometimes make walking into the therapy room a daunting task.
When I face the shrink, I know that I am facing myself in a way. She is sometimes like a mirror that is being held up to me. Feelings come up which I don't want to handle, but yet I must. Sometimes those feelings elicit other feelings which I feel like skirting. And that is the most difficult part. Sometimes I will say that I really don't fell like talking about a certain issue, because I don't find it relevant. The shrink may think that it is relevant, however.
Who is really right in this matter of relevancy? It is hard to tell. There are occasions when I feel that she is right and so I will deal with difficult topics. But there are times when I feel that a certain subject is not worth talking about.
Then again there are times when my psychiatrist's probing will shed light on matters. And then I will have one of those eureka moments.
It is important to trust your therapist, if you feel that altogether you are making progress. I feel that I am making slow progress, although that doesn't mean that I always look forward to the sessions. Facing your fears is difficult for most of us. It is like traveling down a road with unexpected twists and turns. Somehow you have to be prepared, and the only way to do that is to keep traveling.