As a couple, you may decide that you are finished having children and discuss permanent options for birth control. When considering a vasectomy, how do men really feel when it comes to this surgery?

In my family, when the conversation occurred I asked my husband what, if any, was the big concern for men. He answered me by saying, “That is a very sensitive area to think about someone poking around and not a place where I would like to be in pain.” Gee, you don’t say. As it turns out, I understood more than I knew. “I know. I felt the same way when I was getting ready for labor. I was nervous about pain in my sensitive area as I was preparing for the birth of each of our children.” (And none of our children were born less than eight pounds!)

Still, if that was what we decided, I wanted to be as helpful as I could to make the recovery easy. Here are some of the things that can help the healing process.

REST. Rest is essential for a smooth recovery. Set him up with some good movies, a comfortable pillow and give him time to relax as his body heals. I have heard that it is very important to continue to take things easy in the days following the surgery, EVEN if he feels better. As his support, remind him. REST. REST. REST.

ICE. My friend told me that all ice is not created equal. Ice will probably be recommended for the first few days after surgery. Cubed ice is not good. Crushed ice may not work either. If you can’t get shaved ice, you may want to buy frozen peas. (Buy two bags so one will always be ready when the other one begins to dethaw.) Or do what my friend did, she ran her crushed ice through her margarita machine in order to give her husband perfectly shaved ice. True love.

UNDERSTANDING. It is a common surgery but also a big deal. Think of all the wonderful things your husband did for you when you were recovering from labor or any other surgery. Offer to do the things for him that you like when you’re not feeling well. It may not be labor but it is an elective surgery. You are partners. You are a team. Be in it together.

Don’t forget to follow the doctor’s instructions when it comes to recovery and follow-up appointments!

I hope that if the time comes, I can be as much of a support to my husband as he has been to me in the past.