Dads who have lost children may not admit it because it's difficult, but they want to be reminded of what they had that was good, not what they lost. The label 'dad' stays with us.”
He adds, “Divorced dads are somewhat different. They may feel guilt if a child died during their 'watch' or their relationship with their ex is strained and they never got to mourn together. Normal human relations and conflicts get in the way and the two people who can truly understand the loss never get to cry together.”
"We all grieve differently, some with more grace and control than others," explained Kluger, a former senior media executive with the USA and MTV Networks in New York, and now a well-regarded media consultant. "By sharing my experiences, I'm celebrating Erica's life and the joy she brought to those who were lucky enough to know her."
For those who would benefit from a “how-to” guide, psychologists and grief counselors often recommend The Grief Recovery Handbook, considered a classic resource that helps people complete the grieving process and move toward recovery and happiness.
Another helpful resource is a support group or organization where people have the opportunity to talk openly with others who have had the same experience. The resource list below includes several - readers are encouraged to add their own and share their personal experiences as well.
Just as a woman who has born a child will always be a mother, a father is always a father. Dads who’ve lost their child or children are no exception, on Father’s Day and every day of the year.
A Life Undone by Barry Kluger:
The Grief Recovery Handbook and Institute: http://grief.net/
Cancer support links from a father who lost his son, with information for parents in the United States, United Kingdom, Australia and Canada: http://www.btinternet.com/~memoriesofmax/toplinks/linksframe.htm