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Why is my 2-year-old not going to sleep?
Sleep regression is when your child, who has been sleeping well, suddenly and seemingly without warning, begins waking frequently at night and/or refusing to nap during the day. These regressions can last anywhere from two to six weeks, then return to normal patterns. (1)
Your two-year-old may be experiencing sleep regression for several reasons.
She’s awake longer during the day
Two-year-olds need an average of 12 hours of sleep in a 24-hour period, with 10 ½ to 11 of those hours being at night, and the remaining one and a half to two hours being in a single, usually, afternoon nap. (Mine actually preferred a late-morning nap.)
If your child get this average of 12 hours every day, you may see a pleasant attitude difference in your toddler. (2)
She’s experiencing separation anxiety
Separation anxiety peaks around 18 months, but can appear off and on until 5 or 6 years of age. (2) For two-year-olds, separation anxiety may actually be based on fear, such as being afraid of being left alone, or with people he doesn’t know.
Many toddlers, however, simply don’t want to miss out on whatever they believe the rest of the family are doing after they’re put to bed. (2)
She’s suddenly stopped taking naps
Naptime resistance is a phase. Parents shouldn’t eliminate naptime altogether. Though each child is different, most children don’t completely give up their naps until 3 or 4 years of age. (2)
She’s going through a big transition at home or daycare
This could include many factors such as moving to a big girl bed, potty training, the arrival of a new sibling, a vacation, change in care provider.
She’s experiencing nighttime fears
It is around the age of 2 years that many toddlers begin to experience bad dreams, imagining monsters in the closet or under the bed, marking “a fundamental change in the way that your child processes the world around him.” (3)
What can I do to help us all get some sleep?
While it’s natural — albeit frustrating — for toddlers to test boundaries, moms need to recognize that this boundary-testing includes bedtimes and naptimes, and that they need to maintain bedtimes and naptimes as consistently as possible. “As parents we often have to pick our battles, and sleep is one battle that we need to ensure has definite boundaries ... [Toddlers] need structure and boundaries, especially when it comes to sleep.” (3)
Keeping your child’s naptime and nighttime schedule consistent is the key to having a happy toddler. (3) Remember that your child still needs up to 12 hours of sleep within a 24-hour period, so don’t rush into making changes to your toddler’s sleeping schedule, or cutting back on or dropping naps.
Fortunately, sleep regressions are temporary and will pass. If your child doesn’t go to sleep, leave him for at least 45 minutes in his crib, even if he is just playing quietly. You can’t force a child to go to sleep. However you can provide him with a friendly sleep environment. (3)
If your toddler is playing the “one more” game with you at bedtime, consider starting her bedtime five or 10 minutes earlier so that she gets her “one mores” and bedtime stays consistent. FYI: “A toddler’s natural bedtime falls sometime between 7 and 7:30 p.m.” (3)
If sleep regression seems separation anxiety-based, introduce a security object if you haven’t already (eg. blanket, teddy). Let them pick out a nightlight for their room and make turning the light on part of the bedtime routine.
Remember, “you don’t want your toddler to form any bad habits while you’re working on getting through the 2 year sleep regression, so let that guide your decisions about how you’re going to cope.” (2)
For more information and tips on how to deal with sleep regression in toddlers, try these sites as well:
Rebecca Michi Children’s Sleep Consultant
Sources:
1) Your Toddler’s Sleep Regressions Explained. DeJeu, Emily. The Baby Sleep Site. Web. Nov 6, 2013.
http://www.babysleepsite.com/toddlers/toddler-sleep-regressions-explained
2) 5 Things You Need to Know About Your 2 Year Old’s Sleep. DeJeu, Emily. The Baby Sleep Site. Web. Nov 6, 2013.
http://www.babysleepsite.com/toddlers/5-things-about-2-year-old-toddler-sleep
3) 2 Year Old Sleep Tips. West, Kim. The Sleep Lady. Web. Nov 6, 2013.
http://www.sleeplady.com/toddler-sleep-problems/2-year-old-sleep-tips/#.Unp49RCncSo
4) Stop Toddler Bedtime Battles. Knapp, Julie. Parents.com. Web. Nov 6, 2013.
http://www.parents.com/toddlers-preschoolers/sleep/issues/stop-toddler-bedtime-battles
5) Sleep regressions and how to deal with them. Michi, Rebecca. Rebecca Michi Children’s Sleep Consultant. Web. Nov 6, 2013.
http://rebeccamichi.com/sleep-regressions-and-how-best-to-deal-with-them
6) Bringing Baby Home & Toddler Sleep Regressions (Parts 1 & 2). Ask A Nanny. Web. Nov 6, 2013.
http://www.askananny.com/Bigger_Issues/Entries/2011/11/2_Bringing_Baby_Home_%26_Toddler_Sleep_Regressions_%28Parts_1_%26_2%29.html
7) Sleep. Zero to Three National Center for Infants, Toddlers, and Families. Web. Nov 6, 2013.
http://www.zerotothree.org/child-development/sleep
Reviewed November 6, 2013
by Michele Blacksberg RN
Edited by Jody Smith
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