Under Pressure: Trying to be Perfect Parent Takes a Toll

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Being a mom or dad for the first time isn’t easy. And it certainly can’t be easy living up to the expectations set by your own parents, other family members or friends.

It’s normal for experienced parents to lend advice, guidance and support to new parents and seemingly this advice would be welcomed. But if the advice being given feels judgmental, it may serve as a detriment for new parents and the pressure may be too much to handle.

At least that’s what researchers from Ohio State University have found.

A team from OSU looked at 182 couples who became parents between 2008 and 2010, and found that “mothers had less confidence in their parenting abilities and fathers felt more stress when they were more worried about what others thought of their parenting skills,” according to a HealthDay release on the study.

And according to the researchers from Michigan State University, if you’re a working mother trying to be a supermom, you’re feeling even more pressure and stress than your working male counterpart.

According to a study published in the American Sociological Review by Michigan State University, “Working mothers spend 9 more hours a week multitasking than do working fathers, or about 48 hours per week for moms compared with 39 for dads.”

This multitasking stresses women out more so than men, and can really take its toll on mothers.

"The bar for being a good parent, the normative values of being a good mother, have gotten very high, and that leave mothers feeling a lot of pressure and stress," said study co-author Barbara Schneider, a professor of sociology and education at Michigan State University.

And when you couple the stress of juggling a career and children with the unattainable ideal of being a perfect parent, that’s a lot of weight weighing women down.

"Trying to be the perfect parent is a mixed bag ... If you think you have to be perfect because of outside pressure, it really hurts adjustment. If you put these demands on yourself, it may have some benefits early on, but it is not universally good," study author Meghan Lee, a graduate student in human development and family science at Ohio State University, said in a university news release.

Researchers say this type of stress impacts women’s bodies and their psychological state and believe this stress due to multitasking and parent perfection may be a significant public health issue for women.

Sources:

Pressure to Be Perfect Parent Can Discourage New Moms, Dads. HealthDay. Web. 5 Dec. 2011.
http://consumer.healthday.com/Article.asp?AID=659360

Multitasking stresses out working moms more than dads. USAToday. Web. 7 Dec. 2011.
http://yourlife.usatoday.com/parenting-family/story/2011-12-01/Multitasking-stresses-out-working-moms-more-than-dads/51545428/1

Bailey Mosier is a freelance journalist living in Orlando, Florida. She received a Masters of Journalism from Arizona State University, played D-I golf, has been editor of a Scottsdale-based golf magazine and currently contributes to GolfChannel.com. She aims to live an active, healthy lifestyle full of sunshine and smiles.

Reviewed December 12, 2011
by Michele Blacksberg RN
Edited by Jody Smith

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We value and respect our HERWriters' experiences, but everyone is different. Many of our writers are speaking from personal experience, and what's worked for them may not work for you. Their articles are not a substitute for medical advice, although we hope you can gain knowledge from their insight.