Cracking the problem of what holds the universe together seems relatively easy compared to the challenge of keeping sex good. Personally, I’ve had so many sex problems over the years that I thought that’s just the nature of sex. If only I’d had this book years ago: When Sex Isn’t Good, Stories and Solutions of Women with Sexual Dysfunction, by Lillian Arleque, Ed.D.; Sue W. Goldstein, A.B.; and Irwin Goldstein, M.D., Director of Sexual Medicine, Alvarado Hospital, San Diego, CA, Medical Consultant.
Whoever said relief comes from knowing you’re not alone was one smart cookie. Whoever said there’s a solution to every problem was even smarter. When Sex Isn’t Good delivers both, relief and solutions.
Authors Arleque and Goldstein present personal stories of women speaking in their own voice. They describe how their sex life got derailed and, in many cases, their relationship and self-esteem along with it.
There is the example of the near-suicidal Olivia who was diagnosed with Persistent Sexual Arousal syndrome at fifty.
“The throbbing in my genitals never stops,” Olivia writes. “I even have trouble reaching orgasm, despite the perpetual need.” Another woman, Leanne, describes wanting to cry all the time when menopause brought a lack of desire coupled with “excruciating pain” during intercourse. There are stories, too, of younger women who after childbirth experience only pain where there was once pleasure.
Often women find they solve one problem (depression) only to discover a new one (sexual dysfunction). This can happen in 15-70% of women taking anti-depressants.
Sadly, most doctors are either uncomfortable with the subject or unaware of management options. Women may find themselves traveling a long road of suffering and accusations of it’s “all in your head” before they get to a sexual medicine specialist, such as Dr Goldstein. In the meantime, sex problems can be the straw that breaks the Camel’s back in a significant relationship, bringing loss and emotional pain.
When Sex Isn’t Good provides a thorough review of how medical factors affect sex, including anti-depressants, cancer, childbirth, menopause, and diabetes. There is also an excellent overview of medical therapies, everything from hormones and diet, to lubricants and vibrators. The bottom line? When sex isn’t good, read this book for support and then talk to a sexual medicine specialist. They can probably help make it great.
© 2008 ZANTIUM LLC
BIO:
Everyone knows you only talk about sex in secret. Everyone but me that is. I’m Pamela Tames and you can hear more about my take on sex and the older woman at http://seasonedsex.com.
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