Valentine’s day is almost here. Those young and young at heart may spend hours thinking of creative ways to show their Valentine love. Unfortunately for many teens, in addition to hand made marker colored notes and stuffed bears, sexting is now on the menu of Valentine gifts.
About 20 percent of teens are sexting, according to the Sex and Tech survey by The National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy and CosmoGirl. Read full article.
What is Sexting?
Sexting involves electronically sending or posting of online nude or semi-nude pictures or videos. Is this really happening? You better believe it.
Why are kids doing it?
There are a variety of reasons. Sometimes girlfriends are sending photos to boyfriends as a “special gift.”
Some girls reported feeling pressured into sending semi nude photos..the old if you love me you would….Many girls do not realize that their boyfriends will likely pass the photos on to friends. This becomes almost inevitable once they have broken up.
Sometimes they are trying to get someone’s attention or to be noticed. Many report they are being flirtatious and see it as fun. Alarmingly, 15% reported that they were sending it to someone they only have met online. Hello… how do you know that person posing as a cute teen boy online is not really a scary old pedophile? Wake up people.
Don’t you get that this gift keeps on giving. Once the photos are unleashed into the Internet, they cannot be retrieved.
What are the ramifications of sexting?
The most important message that parents & teens need to get is that Sexting is against the law. If you are 18 years old and you post nude images of yourself or others on the internet, you can be prosecuted as a felon and will be registered as a sex offender for the rest of your life. Even if the offender is younger than 18 years of age, serious legal problems are possible.
Such an event transpired last month in Pennsylvania where 3 girls who posted nude pictures and 3 boys who received them on their phones face charges for their actions. It is illegal to possess nude photos as well as send the photos, both falling under child pornography laws.
The most modest penalties facing these offenders include school suspension, expulsion, loss of scholarships, future jobs and certainly reputation. The internet never forgets…or forgives.
What can parents do?
First, be open to the fact that your child may be involved. This is happening in every high school and some local school officials estimate that 70% of students have pornographic material on their phones.
Remind them that this is a really big deal. A really big ILLEGAL deal. One mistake may be too great to fully overcome.
If you have given them a phone, then explain to them the responsibilities that come with it.
We think that we have giving them a phone to keep them safe, but the reality is the technology may be endangering them with criminal activity.
One option is to only buy phones without a camera. I know that won’t go over well but they do exist.
Another option is to disable the Internet from the phone. Don’t say they don’t have internet because they likely do and just don’t realize it. You can disable the Internet and still receive phone calls and text message but no photos. It doesn’t mean they can’t download photos from their phone to a computer but at least at you can put a hold on an impromptu photo taken at a party or a pressured situation.
Take their phone and review text messages. Whatever messages they are sending through the internet can be seen by potential employers, colleges and the law, so it better be able to be seen by parents. Explain that their phone could be stolen or lost and anything on their phone could be sent to authorities or posted online.
You can also look up on line when texts were sent and compare them to the photos on the phone. If you see that a photo was sent as 5:03 and there is no photo on the phone at that time, question your child about what that photo was before it was deleted.
There is also new software available for some phones where parents can receive notification if their teen has received any sexually explicit language or photos as well as prohibit texting in moving vehicles or in designated “Dead Zones” like school. Click here to learn more about web safety.
This is really happening and the laws make no provisions for teens just having fun. When your child begs for the phone it is important to keep having the conversation of the responsibilities that come with it. KEEP TALKING!
Happy & SAFE Valentine’s Day!