Last week I held a free tele-seminar and had the opportunity to answer some great questions about coping with overwhelming feelings, how to get motivated to exercise, and tips for dealing with stress and economic worries. We also talked about some of the mindsets that people mistake as “helpful,” but can quickly sabotage attempts to take control of emotional eating, weight loss, or adopt other healthy lifestyle changes.
Here is my short list of mindsets and mistakes you’ll want to avoid to prevent sabotaging your plan for change:
1. Perfectionism. I’ve covered this one before, but it bears repeating. Perfectionism — the belief you have to get it perfect in order to be successful — will sabotage a plan for lifestyle change (and may trigger emotional eating) faster than any other mindset. It’s not possible to be perfect and the pressure a perfectionist puts on herself is entirely unrealistic and unhelpful.
2. Go big or go home: Taking steps that are too big, trying to do too much too fast is a quick and easy way to overwhelm yourself. Even if you can take big steps in the short run, drastic change is a jolt to the system and can be very difficult to maintain for the long haul. It’s generally better to take small consistent steps you can gradually integrate into your existing life and way of doing things.
3. Choosing the plan you “should”: Taking on a plan that doesn’t honor who you are, what you’re good at and what you do and don’t enjoy? Think carefully about a plan that will work for you before you try to make yourself work a plan that might not be workable. The more any new plan of action meshes with who you are and what you enjoy, the more likely you will be to remember the new behaviors, to be consistent with them, and to gradually develop changes that will last.
4. I just need to eat healthy food: Choosing a diet or program that tells you WHAT to eat, but doesn’t help you figure out how NOT to overeat? Success requires the necessary tools — all the necessary tools. You can’t build a house with a screwdriver but no hammer. Likewise, you aren’t likely to be successful taking control of emotional eating, overcoming your unique challenges and hurdles, or creating a fitness program that lasts, if all you have is a food plan. I feel so strongly about this that all of my programs and resources have a component to allow you to assess the unique tools you need to build you own success.
Avoiding these mindsets will help keep you on track and help you avoid a downward spiral in motivation. At the tele-seminar I included one additional tip: sometimes it’s difficult to be aware of your own unhelpful mindsets. Don’t neglect the power of support to help you stay on track and avoid attitudes and behaviors that can lead to self-sabotage.
Feel free to reprint on your own website, newsletter, blog or message board as long as you include the following: Melissa McCreery, PhD, ACC is a psychologist, certified life coach, and the founder of Enduring Change Coaching, a company that specializes in providing programs and resources to help women worldwide create the lives they’ve been craving and weight loss that lasts. Her newest program, The Weight Loss Winner's Circle helps women stay on track, stay out of self-sabotage, and have positive support as they meet their weight loss goals.