A comment I received on a piece I wrote recently about mental chatter raised a very interesting point about externally vs. internally focused mental chatter. I hadn’t even thought about the two different types. I’d written that particular article to help stop ourselves from passing judgment on others (externally focused mental chatter) and I mentioned how wonderful ‘mental silence’ is. I hadn’t considered though, something that equally attacks our silence – internally focused chatter.
Internally focused chatter is stuff running through your mind like to do lists, organizing and planning something, pondering issues and problems or thinking about future events/happenings. Thinking of your ‘to do’ list is not negative (like passing judgment is), but if your mind is constantly on and crowded with such thoughts, there is no room for that silence we can create and adore.
When Diane (my reader) raised this point I realised I was guilty of having too much of this kind of chatter. My brain seems to boast of its constant ‘on-ness’ and its ability to organize, ponder and think think think (thought its that same trait that makes writing this blog the perfect job for me!). I do meditation of course which does balance this out a bit, so I do manage some peace and quiet in my day! But I realised I needed to create more silence within myself.
I think ‘mindfulness’ is what’s needed to cure internally focused mental chatter. Wikipedia defines mindfulness as “a mental state, characterized by concentrated awareness of one's thoughts, actions or motivations”. It basically means being present in every moment of your day. We can practice mindfulness when doing things like folding the washing and walking up the stairs. Think about this: if we aren’t mindful during these tasks what are our brains doing when we do these things!!?? When you realise how many tasks you do unconsciously it can seem as if your brain a bit of a ‘free agent’ of sorts… running its own agenda! That’s not how it should be! It’s our brain to use and drive!
It is said that multi tasking (like ordering from a catalogue on the phone while cooking tea or cleaning the house while holding the baby) is a wasted effort as both tasks only get 50% attention so neither job gets done well. I am guilty of trying to hold a conversation with my husband while reading something like a recipe. I then realise I’m not properly listening and that I haven’t understood the recipe instructions properly either so I have to redo both things - so I definitely agree that multitasking is dumb! Though wiping down the bench while talking is manageable so I suppose it does depend on what the tasks are!
When I’m out doing my daily walk, my brain buzzes away thinking about work or what I’m cooking for tea and I’m not 100% truly engaged in the beautiful nature I’m passing. I’m determined to change that! I am going to do an experiment of ‘mindfulness’ when out walking… (and when doing other stuff like cooking tea). I’m going to try and teach myself a new way of ‘managing’ my brain. It needs a new gear. I’m sure the results will be a peace, a calmness and a focus that will enhance the task I’m doing, my happiness and my energy.
When there are things that need to be pondered, I’ve heard some people recommend ‘thinking time’. It means you assign a period in the day when you will think about things that need to be pondered or organized.
This also works really well for people that are big worriers. They can assign ‘worry time’ and they are only allowed to worry in the allocated timeslot – sitting down with a pen and paper for 15 or so minutes, writing your worries down and any solutions you can think of. Then when the same worries pop into your brain in the rest of your day you tell them to abruptly ‘P.O.’ and come back during tomorrows worry time. I suppose if you do this exercise, you know that things on your mind are still being pondered, but in a co-ordinated way. So you don’t need to stress that you are ignoring them because you aren’t.
What do you think about internally focused chatter? How does it affect your life? What experiences of mindfulness have you had?
Allison O’Neill adored self growth from a very young age. Her blog, "Live Knowing This" www.liveknowingthis.blogspot.com is designed to bring you 'aha moments' of self growth. She has read hundreds of self help books, been to all the 'entrepreneurs' seminars she could find (starting at age 16), and adores Tony Robbins programs. She also loves writing (her first official publication was a family newsletter age seven).She wants to help people learn and grow while living happier lives with clarity. Some people she adores that have and are ABSOLUTELY changing the world are... Steve Irwin, Ellen DeGeneres, Jesus, Wayne Dyer, Tony Robins and Lousie Hay.