Yeah! The surgery was successful…whatever that means. I guess there were no complications, and I didn’t even need a blood transfusion. The surgery started yesterday at about 1 p.m. I remember falling asleep to 12 doctors bouncing around the room prepping for surgery. It’s crazy to believe that they were all there for me!
I woke to the most horrific pain, something I wouldn’t ever wish for anyone to experience. I wasn’t sure where I was, but I think at that point the nurses were wheeling me out if the operation room to Intensive Care. I was screaming out names for help-Dad! Wes! Christine! Lisa! Help-anyone!
I heard a nurse asking who “Christine” was. I thought I saw Dr. Kookinar (my oncologist) and called out for his help. There was about 4-5 nurses that attempted to move me from the gurney to the bed. They were hasty in moving me, which made the pain even more excruciating. I kept asking how much medication I was on and it seemed that the amount was less than I originally had up on the floor prior to surgery! Dr K. increased my dosage a little, but it didn’t help. At this point, all I wanted was to be sedated -- taken out of my misery, whatever it took.
Wes, Christine, Lisa, and my parents were all here and trying to comfort me, but there was nothing they could do. I was extremely confused and kept calling to to whomever would listen; what my situation was? Where was I? Where was my bed in the room? Why did my side and my shoulder hurt? Why was I wrapped around so many cords and tilted to the side? What would happen if I turned over on the right side, would my chest tube stick out? Where was I exposed and why did I have an IV right in the middle of my neck? If I tried to itch my leg, what would happen? What if I had to go to the bathroom, would the decathetor automatically “help out”? The nurse gave me a Xantax (I think) and that’s all I remember from last night.
I woke to one of the nurses giving me my regular routine of meds and I apologized for any profanities I yelled out the night before. I sincerely felt that the nurses were rushing me to get into position on the bed before I was ready and I wasn’t able to breathe because of the extreme pain. I tried to convey this to the nurse and I’m not sure if she understood or not or at that point even cared.
Next thing I remember, two physical therapists were telling me I had to sit up and get out of bed to sit in a chair. What? Are you kidding me? I just had a rib removed and a cadaver’s bone cemented to my vertebrae less than 12 hours ago and you want me to move to a chair? They slowly sat me up and let me take my time until I was ready to make the next move (unlike the nurses the night before). I moved slowly with surprisingly more ease than I thought…as long as I kept my breathing in check. They sat me in the chair for a little over an hour and Christine brought me some sort of veggie burger. Yummy! I hadn’t eaten really very much over the past few days because of the fasting prior to the surgery. I vaguely remember my father hand feeding me bites of a small bagel this am, but couldn’t be sure if it was a dream or not.
I was finally allowed to lie back in the comfortable bed and attempted to adjust myself. As soon as I lay down, I couldn’t get my right part of my body right and felt an enormous shocking pain ripping through my side, up my shoulder and into my neck. I began sobbing again and eventually fell asleep from the exhaustion of energy.
All in all, I am so thankful that there were no complications and they were able to remove the portion of the tumor that was rubbing against my spinal cord. This means that the pain from the cancer on the T8 vertebrae would be decreased and my chance of being paralyzed because of it is close to gone! This does not mean that my cancer is treated by any means, but is it a beginning. I still have other tumors on my vertebrae, ribs, collarbone, and long bones and hopefully the chemo and radiation will help to stop the growth of these or even better, shrink them! I am starting to feel better (minus the pain on my whole right side) and my spirits are up for now.
I want to sincerely thank everyone sending their love, support and prayers! I couldn’t do this fight without you!