No sex or relationship question is too embarrassing, because it's time to ask EmpowHer’s sexuality expert, Dr. Marty Klein, anything. Asking your questions is EmpowHer’s Founder and Chairman Michelle King Robson.
Michelle King Robson:
Dr. Klein, why do men think all women orgasm through intercourse?
Dr. Marty Klein:
Actually, I think the question is, why do so many men and women think that women are supposed to climax from intercourse? That’s what people refer to as real sex or sex or the right way or normal, normal sex. It’s really interesting that that’s the model that people have. People think that the vagina is the main sexual organ for women, and the truth is that for most women, the vagina is not the primary sexual organ, the clitoris is.
My friend Lonnie Barbach says that if the way that people thought was normal sex, was men rubbing their testicles against women’s clitorises, women would be having orgasms every time they had sex, and men would be walking around saying, “What’s wrong with me?”
So this questionnaire is right if she is saying that, you know, I am one of those many, many, many, many, many, many women who enjoy intercourse. I just don’t climax from it. And why people don’t understand that, that’s sort of a cultural myth. It’s one of those cultural things where people just don’t understand that penis-vagina intercourse may be a lot of fun, some of my best friends do it, you know, but for most women, that’s not where a climax is going to happen.
That doesn’t mean that it has no value. A lot of people enjoy sex when they don’t climax, and not everybody climaxes every time anyway, but what an individual woman has to do with her partner is to say, “Sweetheart, I am not ‘women.’ I am me. I am not ‘women”, I am Mary Lou, and you have to learn about my body. My body is not the same as all the other women’s bodies. My body is special. Let’s together investigate exactly what makes my body feel the best, and you may be surprised. In fact, I may discover a few new things, and I may be surprised, but we have to get to know my special, unique body as opposed to ‘women’s bodies.’”
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