I have been with my fiance now for 3 yrs and we have been doing a lot of fussing. He has an issue with looking at online women, but says he does it to get at me when we fuss. I take that as an excuse just to look at women, but he swears he does it as comfort when we fight.
He is always tired, but he does have an hour and a half drive back and forth to work(military) and I can understand he is exhausted, but even on weekends I have to run after him for sex. He always manages to fall asleep . I asked him if it is because he isn't sexually attracted to me and he said he is attracted, just tired.
One thing to mention is he did go online looking for discreet relationships, but he said he did it because I began talking to guy friends and telling him I think we need to break up. He also called me too heavy when we met, but said he did it because he was insecure about himself and did not know why someone as beautiful as me would want him, so of course this began the whole cycle of hurt towards each other, not to mention getting even. He seems to always look me up and down as to look for fault, even asking me if my breasts were too large for my bra.
On a good note, he is good to me, rubs my back, takes care of me and my kids, tells me he loves me almost 15 times a day at least. All I know is I am confused and I don't know what to do anymore. He calls me his soul mate, yet he faulted me in the beginning and tells me he will stop looking at women, but still does.
I want to feel desired by him sexually, but so far I'm not, even when he touches me and kisses me. He never wants sex and I am beginning to think he does love me, but not attracted. Maybe he doesn't want to hurt my feelings and tell me the truth? Why would he not want sex?