I am 29, been married for three years, and have two beautiful children. Over the course of the six years my husband and I have been together, I have found numerous emails to other women, pornographic movies and magazines, and a computer history of him visiting pornographic sites. Recently, I even found a phone number on our cell phone bill, called it, and it turned out to be a girl. I confronted him and he said, "I'll fix it". He said he met her after work in the parking lot. A friend of someone he works with. A bunch of them went out to Applebees after work and since then he had been calling her every so often. He said nothing happened physically, it was someone to talk to and give him attention. After I had my two children(within two years of each other), I had put on a good sixty pounds. I have tried numerous times, unsuccessfully, to get the weight off. He tells me that he still is attracted to me and loves me just the way I am. He is very supportive in getting me motivated to work out and such, but what else would he do or say? He would never tell me that I'm fat and he is disgusted by me(even if that were the truth). He has been deployed twice to Iraq and suffers from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, which he is currently getting help for. We are in marriage counseling as well. I confronted him about the porn on the computer and he said he would get help and got rid of the computer. He knows I don't like porn in the house. I think it's digusting. We haven't had sex for 7 months. He won't initiate or touch me and turns me down when I initiate. He can, however, get off when watching porn. He recently came back from military training in Germany and I found numerous porn videos and mags in his backpack. I broke all the videos and ripped up all the magazines. I am upset because while he was over there he asked me to wire him money cause he had run out. He bought my daughter a $7.00 doll, my son a $5.00 train, and over $100.00 in porn. What scares me even more is that the porn videos are now getting more intense. He had a dominatrix one with a women who's mouth was wired open in order for the men to stick their penis in it. I don't understand what is wrong with me? Why is porn so much more important to him than me? I have threatened to leave him over it, which I thought he understood, but he keeps on buying it...not to mention, he doesn't go to any length to hide it.
Is it time for an ultimatum? I need advice on what to do? Thank you.