Today brought new hope. Since the pill chemo wasn’t working, the doc wanted to switch to the new chemo through infusion called Taxotere. I am a little scared because of the side effects. Some of the side effects include: nausea, hair loss, swelling of ankles, feet, loosening of nails and more! What the H–” is that supposed to mean, “loosening of the nails??}I am hoping that this chemo will be the magic bullet to cure everything.
It has been a long time since I have heard some good news. It feels like I keep getting bad news and it’s is getting more difficult to stay positive, although this new cancer option is bringing a new hope. I am trying so hard, and I am happy walking around here and seeing others that have beat the cancer through their journey. After talking with some of the others staying here I have learned that many are breast cancer patients. I didn’t realize how common it is! It is frusterating that breast cancer gets such hype and cancer $$. Everywhere I turn I see that pink ribbon logo. I am still confused about my schedule for the next few weeks and month. I am still here at CTCA and I have to be in my cousin’s wedding in California the weekend after next, and I am preying that I am feeling well and able to enjoy my time there this time.
Kim’s family stops by at least once a day to wish me well. Kim’s husband bought me this beautiful plant and flowers to help brighten the room. the next day, her aunt brought a care package full of candy. a CD, teddy bear, and other goodies. She even printed out pages from the website with the photos to hang on my door. They are so thoughtful! We have preyed together on several different occasions. I am not really a religious person and normally don’t prey; however it feels good to prey with them. I can see why people do it all of the time. It almost makes one feel like there is hope and someone watching over to take care of things.
We are working on making a few small changes to the website, including a cool new intro page. I have already started two different areas that include general a general aready where you can share your should thoughts on the site and another an area where I am taking thoughts from people if I should butch my hair or not if I start loosing my hair. I would like to add some more photos. If anyone has any photos (old school or from the past 6 months) please send them to me via jpg and I will make sure that we add it to the photo section. Also, we have a message board now live. Feel free to add any topic to this section that you want to talk about. This area is a place for you to share your opinions, thoughts and feelings about my diagnosis or anything that you think is important.
So far I have not really lost any weight. I guess this is a good thing. My appetite has not been here at all, but I make myself order food each day and eat as much as I can. I am mostly craving frozen yogurt and pasta. I am really craving angel hair pasta of some sort. I am sick of breakfast already. Everyday I order the same thing, bagel and fruit. I can’t even begin to guess how many bagels I have eaten since I have been diagnosed. For some reason they are easy on my stomach and the fruit quenches my thirst. If I stop eating food and loose too much weight, they will want to put me on a feeding tube. I think Kim got one today. The way she explained the process to me sounded horrific! I want to do whatever I can to avoid having one. I have been craving sweets lately, mostly candy bears and chocolate. I have more than enough now, so please do not buy me anymore! I have no willpower and will eat this stuff for a meal and not get something nutritious that I really need.
Thank you!