When I was in my early 20's I succumbed to intercourse several times just to avoid a conflict. I didn't feel ready, but I didn't want to scream or fight back because these were dating situations. Now, I can't seem to develop a healthy sexual relationship with any man. I am 49. Several men (including my ex-husband) point to lack of sex as a reason for breaking up the relationship. I am very afraid of sex. But the men I have been involved with suggest it is something I ought to do for them because they need it, and I can provide this as a "loving service". I can't do that because my feelings of fear and shame are too strong. Do I need help, or are they being unreasonable (or both)?