One afternoon I found a note in my son’s backpack that read, “Your child’s eyes should be checked.” For a moment I had flashbacks to the year that I was in second grade and I got my first pair of glasses. Then my heart sank. My husband and I both wear glasses, so we knew there was a good chance that our kids would inherit our misfortune, but there was nothing that I noticed at home to indicate my son was having trouble seeing. As we suspected, our 6 year old was going to start wearing glasses to see distances.
He was reluctant to have his eyes checked at all. He told us that he didn’t want glasses before we even knew that he needed them. It took some convincing but we were relieved when he seemed excited to wear his new glasses. He picked out a handsome pair of silver framed glasses and used great care in handling them. The day that we picked them up, he pointed out all the things that he could never see before. He became aware that signs had letters that spelled words. He observed the details of the leaves in the trees. He turned to me with excitement and said, “I bet that I will be able to see the clock and the board at school now!”
I saw the twinkling pride in his eyes when our four year old told him that he couldn’t wait until he was old enough to get his own glasses. With two adults and now his older brother wearing glasses, I guess he figured that glasses came with age.
Things were going well. He had a special pocket in his backpack for his glasses. They were tucked away and protected in their case and he even carried a small cleaning kit to keep them smudge free. He was responsible and everyday he remembered them.
One day, I picked him up from school and saw that my usually happy boy walked slowly to the car with his head down and shoulders curved. The warmth of the car welcomed him as the door opened. I said with a smile, “Hi, sweetie. How was your day?” “Not good,” was his response with his voice cracking. When I asked what was wrong, I got my answer. “I lost my glasses at school and I can’t find them,” he said as he began to cry.
For a second, I felt a pit in my stomach as I thought about the loss of his new, expensive glasses but it quickly turned to a lump in my throat when I imagined how he must have felt all afternoon as he searched for glasses that he never found, all the time knowing that he would have to face us with the truth. I pulled over to the side of the road so I could hug and comfort him. We were both leaning new lessons about how to problem solve.
I don’t want my kids to be afraid to tell me things; especially the things that they know will not make me happy. I wiped away his tears and told him that I would take him to school early the next day so we could look for his glasses together. I told him that I was proud of him for telling me, we would handle the situation and work on a solution. And I told him that I loved him- always and no matter what.
So I went to school early the next day, with all three boys in tow. We traced his steps and I am happy to say that we found his glasses. This experience taught us both something new. I believe that he will be even more responsible in the future and is growing his problem solving skills. I am learning how to be a parent that helps and teaches, instead of just reacting.
Those new glasses helped to see in more ways than just one.