I have to admit that I thought the feelings of being abandoned by my Father were over. There are always triggers that surface from time to time but after 17 years, I thought I was 'okay'. I watched a movie recently and fell to the floor in tears. The movie portrayed a Father who was in love with his daughter and would have done anything for her. The Father/Daughter love that I would never comprehend nor understand.
The reason I am writing this is because, I believe that there are many women out there that share my experience. Many children are being reared in single (women) family households. My Father was not a good man. He was very physically abusive and there is a pertinent memory of him driving an old abandoned road when I was only 5 years old, opening the car door, making me get out of the car, while he drove away and left me there.
I survived his torment and it made me the 'go getter' I am today. Am I hiding behind my determination and masking other feelings? Do you think that my 'get it' attitude removes me so far from a possible relationship?
How do move on? How do you trust men after the only thing you knew was torment, torture and a loveless relationship? What parent walks away from their children and never looks back? Does this torment them as well?
My complete frustration is 10-fold! Does anyone share these experiences?