My Husband is wonderful. He would never cheat, and he even tells me that I am all he fantasizes about. I believe him when he says that he loves me and thinks I am beautiful. I do not think that will change after him looking at another naked woman.
When we started dating in high school, I was the only woman he had ever seen(in person) or touched. We are both each others only sexual partners, and I have never seen another naked woman or man (other than my mother and my husband).
He has already done two nude model drawing classes, the first- a female, he was not expecting and he was shocked and worried about how I would react. I have come to terms with that. The second was a male and he felt more comfortable with that because he had already talked to me about the first.
He is going to have to draw both male and female models again this year. And I do understand that it is just art. And as he says they may as well be just a statue. He has no feelings for them as he doesn't know them.
But I am still finding it hard, now I know in advance, that he is going to be in the same room with a naked women, admiring her body, her curves, drawing her. I keep thinking about it and it keeps winding me up. Then there will be the permanent reminder of yet another women he has seen naked. He will have to look over the pictures, fix them up, and post them on the interned for marking.
I don't know why this bothers me as I know he will take it for what it is; an art class. But I feel that if you have a partner, that nudity is something that you entrust to only them. It is part of what separates your relationship to them, from your relationship to your best friends. I was far more comfortable with the idea of nudity with others, until me and my husband got serious. And I guess it just bothers me that he will be sharing this sacred experience with someone other than me. Which I know makes no sense because it is art, but it is still so raw.
I want to stop worrying because he has to do this for his degree, and I love him and don't want to make him feel guilty. I just can't seem to rationalize it anymore than I have and I can't make this feeling in the pit of my stomach go away.
Any advice or other opinions would be greatly appreciated.