There's a fine line between being just friends and being lovers. The success of the television show "Friends" was a perfect example of how strongly audiences responded to the idea that a group of people who spent large amounts of time together could bend the boundaries between friendship and being lovers.
Unfortunately, for most of us, the ease with which the characters in this TV show went between friendship and romance belied the difficulties and challenges faced in real life. Fraught with tension, confusion and irrational thoughts and feelings, many of us simply can't figure out what to do if we develop romantic feelings for a friends.
What do you do when a love relationship turns platonic or becomes more like a friendship?
First, remember that if you are in a long term relationship, there are bound to be many, many times when your relationship feels more like a partnership or a friendship than a romantic tryst. With bills to pay, decisions to make and schedules to juggle, it's so important for to have a partner who is there and capable of handling it with you. Even in the smoothest of interactions with your partner, you are going to have times of wondering if all is well with the love potion you used to feel drunk on because, lately, it tastes like milk.
It's all right. These times solidify your relationship. When the chores of the day are done and the end of the day leads to a fantastically and utterly trusting romantic time, you can surprise yourself with how much in love you really are with your partner. So rest assured this friendly feeling is natural.
It's a red flag if the flames of passion do not reignite or if you are never in the mood for intimacy, or, if you find yourself interested in others. Seeking to determine whether you're simply stressed out or if you are no longer able romantically attracted to your partner is crucial. Test it out. Reduce the stress by hiring a babysitter or going taking a small vacation with your partner
On the other hand, what do you do if you fall in love with someone who is your friend?
Sometimes it's best to talk it out with the object of your desire. Even awkward, weird conversations can be laughed about eventually and if the friendship is strong enough, can enable you to express yourself honestly to find out if your friend feels the same.
At the very least it may be flattering to them. At the worst you may torture yourself about this person and feel you cannot be friends with them. You may be so far from being able to talk with them about that you shut down completely and can't even be friends anymore. Or, you may tell them your real feelings and they feel so strange about it that they turn away from you.
How can we resolve these feelings? Often, we desire someone we can't have because it's safer. While we may not admit it to ourselves, many of us are prone to falling in love with our friends or those otherwise attached because we are terrified of being with someone who actually wants us back. Just food for thought.
The other piece to chew on is this: Use your best judgement and determine for yourself if it's worth the risk to reveal your love for a friend. Assess the situation and step back from the power of your feelings for a moment. Talk to a counselor if necessary. Sometimes friends become lovers and stay lovers forever. It may sound sappy, but staying open to love is just as realistic as protecting yourself.
Aimee Boyle is a freelance writer and regular contributor to EmpowHer.