I have had my share of relationship problems. Many, many relationship problems. One thing that I keep seeing here and that rings true for me and for my friends is we spend an awful lot of time asking each other things we should be asking our significant other.
Why does he do this or that? Ask him. Open communication is so important in any relationship, whether it is with your kids, your parents, your boss, your friends, or your spouse. If you can't talk to each other, it isn't much of a relationship. Sometimes it's really hard to bring up a touchy subject. But we have to work past the fear and open communication.
The most important part of communicating is listening. When I ask a question. I close my mouth and listen for the answer. Sometimes that is hard. Sometimes you don't like what you're hearing. It doesn't matter. Open communication means each person gets a say. So listen without interrupting, and think about your response before it flies out of your mouth. That is my biggest problem. Words fly out of my mouth like supersonic jets. My brain has no idea what is shooting out of my mouth. Until the cringe right after I realize what I just said.
Before you complain or ask your friends or assume you think you know what is happening, just ask directly. Then, LISTEN.