I love my ex and we decided to get back together, I think he feels he's helping me out of a financial jam and has no interest in me sexually at all.
We have not has sex, cuddled, or even kissed for almost 10 months. He pretends to be asleep, have a headache, or be too tired (same excuses every single time). I stopped trying because now I feel like I'm in the way and causing him problems. And it messes with your ego if you let it.
He has an old friend from high school (he's 52, I'm 43). He has to run down to her house 4 times a week at 5 minutes notice for an hour (using the excuse their dogs like to play together). He says he does her heavy lifting and yard work at times of the day he would never do it at his own home. I am wondering if he's really going there or going to see someone else? He knows I like this school frined so she's non-threatening in his mind to me.
I'm 5.7 128 pounds and work out like a dog. He doesn't want me to enhance my body (so he claims, I think he thinks it's a waste of money).
I get hit on EVERYTIME I leave the house but NEVER act on it. I'm very pretty and proud of it but it's getting so bad that I'm ready to possibly leave since I REFUSE to cheat.
He says he doesn't want an open relationship but I need to feel like I'm sexy and wanted by the man I love. I'm getting down in the dumps so I joined volunteer groups where I'm around other men to get some positive feedback.
I've even offered to get toys and try new things but he makes me feel like I'm "bad or dirty" and won't discuss it. Although he admits to online porn use and knows the moves to make (I've remember a few of his porn movie tricks from WAY back when). I've seen them too, they get me in the mood.
What on God's earth do I do? He won't talk, won't kiss, and avoids my body at every turn, I stopped trying because I'm ready to be wanted again like when I was single. I like to dress us, try new things and in new places but he plays all "shy" and ignorant when I bring it up.I know much,much better than that.
Wish I would have stayed away, I didn't need this, it's a form of abuse. I have friends who are overweight and not as cute as I am and they are getting it at least once week. For me it's been 9 very long months of doing things with my own supply of toys I would love to share with him.
Does he have these needs met elsewhere? When I ask he gets SUPER defensive and uses it as a reason not to have sex. He says I don't trust him. I'm simply trying to find out what is going wrong.No it's become the old "you don't trust me issue so I'm not interested". What was I supposed to think? I had to ask. He loves to find the excuses and it's ALWAYS MY FAULT!!
I know he has the issue, not me, but lonely intimacy is only something I can manage to avoid for a very short time!
PLEASE GOD, someone help!!
Anyway after 9 months of not so much as a passionate kiss, I'm at the end of my rope. He REFUSES to see a counselor again (did it once, same old excuses). Maybe I need to go since he refuses to work on it. He says {it's just how I am) but while divorced he wasn't lacking in having certain needs met??