Psst… do you have a problem climaxing during sex? If your answer is yes, there is no need to whisper. You are not alone. The truth is most women do not achieve orgasm every time. According to one nationwide survey, 29 percent of women say they always orgasm, while 40 percent say they are extremely pleased with their sex lives. Do the math. Good stable relationships don’t always equal regular orgasms.
Even among women in happy relationships, one in six does not orgasm on a regular basis. This can be frustrating for your partner and unfortunately when this happens, women tend to believe there is something wrong with them; that they are frigid. This is not the case. In fact, they're absolutely normal. Nearly all men can climax without difficulty, but sometimes, women just can’t.
In order to reach sexual climax, you need the following conditions: desire, arousal and effective stimulation. When you're aroused, extra blood flows to your genitals, creating this tension. In the moment of release, your vaginal muscles contract and release rapidly in spasms of extreme pleasure. Many times though, the most important condition is feeling completely free with no sense of inhibition.
According to sex therapists, the most common reason women have difficulty achieving orgasm is they don't give themselves permission. The obstacles most often standing in their way are inhibitions, communication problems, inexperience, fear of letting go, stress and depression. All of these can be overcome.
Assuming medical reasons aren’t to blame for an orgasm problem, there is little holding women back from a good orgasm. Virtually any woman can climax and have multiple orgasms, if the circumstances are right. These circumstances typically include a caring, understanding partner. One who is knowledgeable about sex and uses that knowledge to help a woman both relax and climax during intercourse. This combined with overcoming your own obstacles might be the answer you need to help you reach orgasm.
You don’t even need a partner. If you can't climax or don't climax easily, practice on your own. Masturbation is a great way to determine what works best for you. You can then share that technique with your partner.
Reaching orgasm should not be the goal of love making. Enjoying yourself, feeling uninhibited and communicating with your partner is more important. Allow yourself this type of intimacy and you just may surprise yourself during the moment of truth.
Stacy Lloyd is a writer and video producer in Phoenix, Arizona. A former television news journalist, she covered stories around the world. Currently, she produces corporate and non-profit videos and broadcast programming.