My boyfriend swears that there is no issues in out relationship and that I have created the issues myself. When what I am experiencing from him is little intimacy. We have sex maybe once a week and when we do it, it seems really awkward and like we are just doing it for the sake of doing it. He has gained weight which I don't really have a problem with but it has all gone on his tummy which tends to get in the way and as soon as he has noticed this when we are doing the deed he will lose his erection. I also suspect that he is quite controlling and secretly is enjoying having me almost beg for it sounds awful but I know this is coming from a place of insecurity due to him not being able to be a 'real man' (his perspective, not mine) and being able to satisfy me. I, however wish he would just talk to me about it and we could try and work out why this is happening as it is causeing great tension between us both and I feel like it may eventually be the end of us. When ever I talk to him about it, he would get really defensive and try and blame me and tell me it is my fault because I am fuelling the situation by talking about it. Also due to being rejected when I have tried to be sensual and instigate love making I am now feeling low and un sexy and that I am begging for it which has put me in a submissive place which is unattractive to him no doubt. What can I do? potentilly we are great together but this is a big problem. I have to say in all my old relationships my guy has always been the one to instigate sex and I have been almost been fighting him off.
I understand that due to my boyfriend being 40 and the fact that he has gained a little weight probably has a lot to do with it but I canot be in a sexless relationship and I would eventually have to move on if I cannot get this sorted. I love him and I really don't want to leave him. Please help!