Five years clean – Anniversary DAY of my Mastectomy is May 9!
OH WHAT A BEAUTIFUL MORNING, OH What a Beautiful DAY……maybe to some these is just words to a song, but to a Survivor it is a mantra!
Let’s go back to the being of 2005, probably about January 12th, as I did “TRY” and do my breast exam each month…hum, what’s this….right otherside of the right breast, different, no it’s not a lump, must have a mole or something I’ve just not noticed before; look in the mirror, no mole….feel again, well it does feel like a lump, but not to worry, it is nothing…..(I am the QUEEN of da Nile, more over I’m an Ostrich)…Oh, well let’s get on with my day….now FEBRUARY exam, probably did it on the 15th, because I remembered January and well let’s say I didn’t want to feel the same thing, so postpone the exam…Now to my surprise, the peanut size “thing” feels harder, is that bigger????? Oh, well, I’m a Christian, know PRAYER works, plus I’m holistic, let’s use some of my great essential oils, what vitamin have I not been taking….so on and so on…oh and let’s add a trip to California coast, that can cure anything, play with the gals, rest, no work stress, or family concerns…ya, this is all just in my head, I’m fine, always have been and always will be…..
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End of April, well it’s really vacation time, I always go to one of my favorite sites, BEACH COTTAGE on the sand in Pacific Beach, eat at my friend’s fabo Chinese restaurant…WOW….you know I’m been really tired lately, hum….I’m here, WOW, but I just don’t feel much time doing anything, I think I’ll skip the walk today…more time in bed, and I can just look out the window at the surf…ya, that’s it…why am I crying…sometime I did the exam…OH NO, THAT THING IS THE SIZE OF AN EGG…..My dear friend comes to take me to lunch, and I’m in bed…until now I’ve not said a word to anyone, except Jehovah in my PRAYERS…but it finally comes out, I “think” I found a lump in my breast… It’s Thursday…my friend forced to call my doctor to get an appointment, he says be here tomorrow afternoon, so I fly back to Phx a day early, right from the airport to the doctor, he just hands me a prescription wants me in to get a mammogram Monday…….Long weekend, but hey, this is all for nothing, right….Monday, go to the hospital for the mammogram, I was asked the strangest question by the tech, “how long has my right nipple been inverted?” crazy but I think always……After the mammogram, it is suggested that maybe I should have another test, believe it was a sonogram…by now I know that my worst fear could be true, I’m crying, have half the staff by myside and then I kinda block the rest of that afternoon out….Wednesday, late afternoon, busy day and very important day at the office, phone call…It’s my doctor….”THE TESTS came back and it is cancer, I have scheduled you an appointment with surgeon…” Down to my knees I go, just then a friend walks by who knows I’ve had the tests and somehow I’m not in the boss’ office….how I drove home, don’t know…another friend calls and HE asks if he can have me talk to his surgeon friend, and the next thing I know the surgeon is on the call, and he suggest that I come in tomorrow to his office and we go forward….Well, the rest is history…GREATEST Surgeon in the world, PRAYER and support of dear sweet Friends I have the surgery, I was so afraid, the week between finding out my worst fear had come true and the actual surgery, I worked hard, did lots of calls, paperwork, got everything ready, but just wouldn’t say the words, “IF I DON’T MAKE IT”, but that was always in my head, along with lots of WHY, WHAT IF, WHY NOT, HOW DID I CAUSE THIS, IF ONLY……..
There is a HAPPY ENDING, when I awoke from the surgery, my sweet wonderful surgeon said, he got it all and I was going to be OK, however, I have developed Lymphedema in my right arm, and most of the upper right side....This just came on the past few months, and at first again, I denied it was happening but last month when I saw my wonderful surgeon we discussed and he sent me to St. Joe's for PT...with certified lympedema specialist...and next week I get fitted with sleeve and glove which they say I will have to wear the rest of my days...\ If you want to know what the lyphedema (swelling) feels like picture being sunburned, then having the nurse put the bloodpresure cuff on pumped to the highest level, and with a softball emplanted in your armpit! Yep, it is a hot burning ache! But I am determined that this too shall pass!
I could write a book, but for now, again let me say that I SURVIVED, and TODAY and EVERYDAY is the best day of my life!!!!!!!!!
Thanks for letting me share…I LOVE EmpowHER!