About a year ago, I was diagnosed with BiPolar Mania after 18 months of a personal attack by his family, which resulted in my trying suicide. I was a crazy woman before getting diagnosed and medical help. My husband of 35 years was my sounding board and it was not pretty to say the least. I know he was stuck in the middle and since all of this he has distanced himself from his family. I have apologized and accepted responsibility for my actions and hurtful words towards him, but he still has not yet forgiven me. I have tried everything but his lack of any emotional support, just seems to trigger or fuel my mood swings. In the past 4 months, there has been only 3 instances where he even puts his arms around me, and all three were because I specifically asked him to, needless to say there is no intimacy. It has gotten so bad, I think that the only way for me to continue to get better is to file for a divorce. I love him with all my heart and soul, but I wonder everyday if living without him could hurt anymore than living with him the way he makes me feel now. Any suggestions or comments would greatly be appreciated.