Seeking a new psychiatrist with the support of my GP, I have seen Dr Gee once so far, and he seems okay - he sent me to a support group in the hospital where he works, a women's mental health support group. First, the group was upstairs, and no lift. He is very aware I have disabilities, he was concerned in his office over which chair I could comfortably/reasonably sit on, and he knows I need a Rollator to walk with.
He did NOT inform me that I would have to negotiate stairs. The toilet is downstairs, also, so I had to go down for that - also I was called downstairs to sign documents, and then told if they had realised it was a person like me, they would have come up. The evacuation and fire drill -well, that was not their fault, but meant another arduous stair-climb. Returning to the room after this, the psychologist facilitator took hold of one handle of my Rollator and told me to slow down, not to rush. I was not rushing. Holding the handle means that I cannot steer straight and caused strain and pain in my arms.
The group was very structured, and the facilitator talked a great deal, and we did worksheets - but at the end there was a group in which one woman in particular spoke about her abuse at the hands of her husband, graphically demonstrating what was done to her. This was encouraged by the facilitator - who did say to me at one stage that I looked uncomfortable and I replied that the information was triggering me into pain of my own, and she agreed that this can happen and continued the session.
I am very confronted. After this group finished we all went home with no debriefing. Half way down my last descent down those terrible stairs, I was asked if I was returning and I said that I was unsure, that I needed to discuss with my therapist.
My new P (psychiatrist) has not given me any means of contacting him. I do not see him for fortnight, with two groups still handing over me in the interim. My old P, I had access to his mobile number and email. I feel sick with worry. This morning, two days after this group, my head was pounding so much I could hardly see. I cannot take anything for this as I already take a very high dosage of painkillers for my bodily condition and cannot add to these. Yesterday I spent in my pyjamas, unable to even get out of the house.
I don't know what to do, I don't know at all. I decided to not go to the groups between now and when I see Dr Gee again - but I cannot fix my mind on this. I am totally freaked out by the content of the group, and the matters discussed, and the fact that we were all left then to deal with anything that came up for ourselves, by ourselves, driving home.
Am I expecting too much? Am I being unreasonable? Because the group I used to go to insists that no personal details and trauma are discussed in the group, that those details are for the private interaction between staff and patients/clients, I have never had such a story dumped on me to deal with. My feelings for this person were huge, as well as my own memories and feelings of my own abuse were suddenly right in my mind again. I feel sick, I don't know what to do.