Hi ladies,
My name is Jessica and I'm 17 years old. I just graduated from high school and plan to attend university this coming September (I'll be moving 3+ hours away from home and living on campus). My parents separated (physically) 2 years ago. My mom and us (2 siblings + me) moved to Canada, where I was raised, while my dad stayed in Florida where we had previously lived for about 4 years. Eventually they separated entirely, until just recently my mom found out my dad is dating someone, which pretty much devastated her to the point where she had a mental and physical breakdown (this includes weeks of constant trips to the doctor/hospital and a lot of tending to on my behalf and on my older brother's). For weeks we hoped she would get better and some days it seemed as though she was, until the next day she'd go back to stage 1. Even before these problems, my mom and I had our occasional fights, usually about my boyfriend and I, although I have to say that 80% of the time they were about silly, meaningless things. Afraid to bother her and trigger any breakdowns, though, I always (and still do) abide by her rules and listen to what she has to say. These rules consist of coming home at a certain time, never spending too much time out, participating with the family, doing my chores, etc. Now I have to admit I'm not very good with keeping up with my chores but never have I stayed out late without her permission nor have I done anything that would result in a loss of trust. My boyfriend is very respectful towards not only myself but my family and he gets along very well with my siblings. However, even though my mom doesn't dislike him (or so she says) I can tell she's never supported our relationship. She has no reason to, though, since my boyfriend doesn't drink, doesn't smoke, doesn't do drugs, doesn't party, and like I said before, is very likable and respectful. I can only assume that because she was hurt by my dad she takes it out on my relationship, thinking that it's going to result as hers did. Not only does she limit by ability to do many things with my boyfriend, which creates problems in our relationship at times, but she has pretty much placed a wall bordering my entire life. I'm not allowed to go shopping/to the movies at the nearest city (20-30 mins away). I'm not allowed out past 11 PM, and if I get home later than 10:30, boy do I get a talking to. She gets extremely angry when I spend "too many hours" with my boyfriend, which means I hang out with him from morning to evening. I have to tell her where I'm going, who I'm going with, what I'm doing, and if that's not enough she texts me constantly every time I go out. I can only handle so much of this and I have to admit that sometimes I get so frustrated with her that I can only think about how much I wish I didn't live here. I feel bad for thinking it, but so much anger builds up inside of me that I can't stop myself from picking out every single flaw in my family and wishing it weren't that way. Wishing she'd do everything differently. I've tried talking to her hundreds of times, but it just never works and I don't know what to do but to face it and hope that one day things will change. Recently my boyfriend's mom invited me to go camping with them and when I asked my mom today, she didn't even wait for details, she gave me an immediate 'no'. Not to mention that she made me cancel a trip to the city where I'm moving to for university (after I had already scheduled an appointment to see a counselor). Because of her my life has become really limited and I can hardly do anything. I'm only thankful that my boyfriend has been able to put up with it without complaining much (we've been together for over a year). Sometimes I even think that the reason I'm going off to university is to move away from her (unfortunately it will also separate my boyfriend and I). I'm not sure what I'm looking for. Any advice or even personal stories will be nice to hear.