Asking what women want when it comes to sex and sexuality is a loaded question, really. What do women want from sex? Is it all about intimacy? Do some women just want the physical pleasure of it, without the relationship? Or do we want it all – a sexually satisfying relationship that includes an emotional connection?
There is no clear answer. Based on our readership opinions and desires, most women do want more than just their physical needs met. Another good thing about women nowadays is that they are out and loud about their need for physical satisfaction, rather than playing the passive woman who has sex out of duty, rather than desire. This has led to some really interesting "modern" women portrayals in the media.
We see the women of Sex and the City living luxury lives (with little work involved, aside from Miranda’s character) filled with sex. Good sex (Samantha), infertile sex (Charlotte), over-analyzed sex (Carrie) and what sex? (Miranda) These women were open, honest and sometimes brutal about sex and love. And they weren’t always successful in their sexual pursuits.
The women of Big Love share one man and the L Word followed the lives of a group of gay women living in America’s new millennium. And let’s not forget all the sitcom women, the hot, smart wives with overweight, slightly dumb husbands. Lastly, we have the usually orange-colored Real Housewives, living glamorous sexy lives that we envy, along with successful and suave husbands - until we later find out that divorces are pending and they’re all broke and if we’re honest, we know we’re all thrilled to see the mighty fall.
But what do real women want? You know, Mary in the cubicle down the hall, Rhona down the street and Anna who checks out our groceries? According to EmpowHER’s members, they want sex. Good sex. They want loyalty and friendship and orgasms. They want to please their man but they want to be pleased too. They are not afraid to please themselves - with sex toy parties, a bedside table filled with goodies and finally – some open talk amongst themselves that shows it’s not all perfect in the bedroom but feeling relief that it’s okay to say it.
This isn’t to say that all women are looking for more or that women aren’t content in general. But what it does mean is that women know what they want – what they really want. They know their own bodies because they are no longer afraid to explore them. And it has nothing to do with what the media or men tell them (although heaven knows, they still try). It’s about women finally crawling out from under their men, and taking a literal and proverbial seat on top.
For more on women's sexuality, check out this article from expert Dr. Mary Klein – and the controversy that surrounds it:
https://www.empowher.com/sexual-well-being/content/womens-internalized-oppression-undermining-your-own-sexuality