A good sex life is an important part of every relationship. So why are there so many conflicts between men and women about it? Do men have stronger sex drives or is that just a stereotype? According to some studies, it’s true. Other studies say it’s not about who has the stronger drive; it’s that men and women just respond differently and at different times.
One major reason behind the sexual disconnect is gender. Don’t look for gender equity here. We’re wired differently plain and simple. Several studies show men's sex drives are stronger and more straightforward than women's. Women's libidos don’t follow a straight path and are tougher to pin down. Women base their desire for sex more on connection and emotion, whereas men see sex differently. For them, the connection comes from sex.
The old joke is that men think about sex all the time. It turns out the majority of adult men under 60 think about sex at least once a day. Only about one-quarter of women give it this much thought.
Age plays a part in our different sex drives. An average male’s highest sex drive is from age 15 to 20. An average woman achieves her peak between the ages of 35 to 40. Based on this, it makes biological sense that older women can be drawn to younger men and older men to younger women. That’s when their sex drives match up.
Women’s sex drives also seem to be heavily influenced by social and cultural factors. Researchers theorize women may be genetically coded to choose their partners based on the type of family man he may be. And that they may be more likely to choose a man with resources because it means greater ability to support a family.
Response and stimulation cause a wide chasm in the different sex drives. What arouses men is very different from what arouses women. Women often need more time than men to get physically ready for sex. Several researchers are quick to point out that just because women need more time doesn’t mean the male libido is higher. The two sexes just respond differently to stimulation.
The two sex drives are different even when it comes to medication. Men's sex drives seem more directly tied to biology than women. With all the Viagra ads, it’s no surprise low sexual desire in men is more easily treated with medication. With women, however, the search for a drug to boost sex drive has proved more elusive.
Stacy Lloyd is a writer and video producer in Phoenix, Arizona. A former television news journalist, she covered stories around the world. Currently, she produces corporate and non-profit videos and broadcast programming.