Hi I don't usually do this but I came across this website and read some of the stories on here and thought maybe i could get some help too...
I'm a guy (19) in college, and my gf is also in college (we have dated for over a year now), we met early fall semester, and I have not been so sure about anyone in my life. [but we were shaky over the summer, she sometimes "forgets" about me when she has other things in her face (i.e. sometimes she goes out and doesnt come back till the next day {oh, but i trust her! :-) })]
before i digress completely. Recently she's kinda been toying me around... like today, calls me over for dinner at 6, and when i get there she's actually at the computer lab, but she doesnt reply until 6 30, then she tells me to come down 2 the lab where she's with her hall mates and then she goes on to ignore me. I leave in 20 mins saying I've got a lot of things 2 do etc. she rushes out and tells me 'sorry', but there's only so much you can take aye... so i get kinda angry and just say 'see ya', brush her off as she tries to kiss me and head off home without giving her the usual "sappy stuff". its 4 am now, and i've still not got a sorry text or aim from her : - [
also, we used to get intimate v often, 50/50 me/her initiation(2-4 times a week), but she's not wanted sex for a while (a month now) + brushes me off n tells me shes tired when I kiss her in rapid successions on her cheeks (which is where I start [which is also what my friends laugh at me about]) but it makes her giggle! and it kinda flutters my heart when i see her lips curl up to a smile and her eyes twinkle; and then we move on to make passionate love - or perhaps I should take this opportunity to ask for better techniques...
on the side, there's this friend who's told me that she loves me (Which is V. weird since I've never made an advance on her), and thats been bothering me a hellovalot (she is one of my best friends) .. so I told my gf about that; since I tell her everything about everything (but also assured her that I love her only and that I'll deal with things because she kinda lost it (her head [started acting all funny]) over dinner).. (that was around when all of this started :S - are they linked?)
also, we used to date a lot... like a fancy dinner date every 2 weeks (this was last year) or a surprise this or that.. now its been 2 months since the last fancy restaurant date... we do little things like movie night or cooking dinner for each other or ice cream or stargazing and talking about anything and whatnot.. I enjoy these a lot! but she complains "I cant remember the last time we went on an actual date" - I have a fraction of the budget I had last year
The whole of October just felt like she's been slipping away..
some tell me she's probably moving on..
and she complains we don't talk enough (but i'm kinda scared she'll break the news)
I want to hold on to her if at all possible..
Also advice about not changing yourself? I've come to believe that when you love someone enough you start mending yourself to fit around her (and vice versa) and we even start imitating the (once-considered) stupid things that our lovers do (i.e. I've recently started becoming a vegetarian)
any help is much appreciated :-)
thanks.
-concerned