The Golden Girls is, and always has been, my favorite comedy. I loved it as a young teen and I love it now. I love the women – hardworking, cultured, vibrant, sexual, intelligent (even you, Rose!) and they were everything women could and should want to be when they reach their golden years. What I loved most is how the show tackled topics decades ahead of its time: abortion, homosexuality and gay marriage, sex, health issues like chronic fatigue syndrome, death, work issues, ageism, AIDS and other great subjects that still makes the show so relevant. And of course, they were funny as hell! I'm very much a Dorothy, with a small dose of Blanche thrown in for good measure!
I always thought a living arrangement like this would be great, if my husband happened to die before me --and we all know there are far more widows than widowers. What if I’m in pretty good health but getting older? I’d have mad adventures like the Girls in Miami, laugh all day long and all my problems would be solved in 22 minutes over wisecracks and cheesecake. Okay, not really. But I’d have company, I wouldn’t be lonely or feel invisible, my living costs would be lower and perhaps I would not need to depend on my own adult children for help. We all know that good companionship and an active social calendar help us live longer and better, so this kind of co-housing scheme is a great idea for women (or men) who wish to live together, but independently and with lots of privacy options.
The New York Times recently profiled two women, both named Nancy, who did just that. One single, one divorced, they sold both their homes (at the height of the boom, lucky girls) and purchased a spacious home together in New York state with plenty of personal space (each one having their one bedroom, bathroom and study, and plenty of communal areas for visiting friends, children and grandchildren. They have their own lives but also enjoy each others company – eating together most nights and working on their garden. Most importantly, they are there for each other and save an estimated 20 percent of their living costs due to sharing a home. They also have a finished basement where a potential home aide could live-in. They say that tongue-in-cheek but down the line they know it may actually be a good idea.
There are risks in everything and of course, there are risks in splitting the cost of a home between friends. This is where the lawyers come in and they are very necessary when Golden Girls really do meet up in real life. The home, its contents and its future (later on perhaps one want to sell her half, one dies or marries, more Golden Girls move in and various other scenarios that will happen down the line) need to be worked out as do general expenses. One household account is a good idea where each puts in an equal amount for utilities, general foods and the like. Want to get fancy with filet mignon every night? Make sure the one who wants it pays for it because one lifestyle can cost a lot more than another. It’s also a good idea to establish a rainy day fund for repairs or unforeseen damages to the home and both need to split the cost of insurance. Each person needs to be held accountable for any activity on any household account and in terms of loans – both signatures need to be required.
It's also important to make sure your roomies and co-owners/renters are compatible. Know the other person/people very well! Know their standard of living, their values and their ways of life. If one likes to dance to music late at night while the other needs to be up early or if personalities clash too much, things could go south quickly. One idea is to rent a place for six months to a year first, before taking the plunge to buy.
Co-living may not be for all people (it’s big in the town where I live) but it can work wonderfully for singles and families of all types. Co-housing is another idea as well as over 55 communities. But for older women like the two Nancys who have no regrets, when marriages have ended for whatever reason, when kids are grown and are raising families of their own, or when living alone has gotten old, co-living with another woman (or women) of similar age could be a great way to enter into another phase of life with good company, financial help and a light on when you get home.
For more ideas, check out the Co-Living Network here: http://www.colivingnetwork.org/
Tell Us
Would you consider being a Golden Girl? What do you think are the advantages or disadvantages?