With Christmas and other holidays coming up, it’s just another chance for a lot of people to get stressed over gifts, parties and other aspects of the holidays that involve money.
Most of us remember at least some inkling of what these holidays truly mean to us, but many businesses are profiting from the less meaningful side of the holidays – our obsession with money and materialism.
Pauline Wallin, a clinical psychologist from Pennsylvania, suggested there could be a slight change in the focus on money during this rough economy.
“Being thrifty is ‘in’ now,” Wallin said. “Even among big corporations, they don’t want to be ostentatious and flying around in their private jets. Everybody is trying to not be that flamboyant with money.”
Because of many women’s tight wallets, Wallin suggests some things to think about during the holidays to avoid the money obsession.
For example, she said that most children don’t remember what they received last year for Christmas.
“For all the agony that parents have for getting exactly the right present for their kid and making them happy, the kid may not even remember it,” Wallin said.
When she has dealt with children in her practice, it seems that children don’t put much of an emphasis on blaming their parents for not getting them the desired gifts. They tend to realize that their parents' money is limited.
“Parents need to chill out a little bit,” Wallin said. “They’re not necessarily bad parents if they don’t spend a lot of money.”
She does suggest women should celebrate a little during the holidays with parties and dinners, but the cost of the food doesn’t matter.
“Being creative in terms of how it’s displayed, how it’s served, the warmth of the group – that’s what people will remember,” Wallin said.
She gives the example of a bride stressing out over what type of food she will order for her wedding, but most people will not remember what they even ate.
“What you think is important now is not necessarily the most important thing,” Wallin said. “This is a chance for people to be creative, to make home-baked or homemade food that you can’t get anywhere.”
People need to remove the guilt they feel during the holidays because it’s unnecessary.
“If someone’s going to give you a $50 gift, you don’t have to feel bad for giving them something that was much less expensive, especially if it’s something that you created,” Wallin said.
However, all of the focus on money can affect some women psychologically.
“If you equate money with being a good friend, or you equate extreme sacrifice as being a good parent, then when you spend less money you feel guilty,” Wallin said.
She said this is an unrealistic way of thinking.
“You can allow your self-esteem to suffer if you feel inadequate, but you can’t increase your self-esteem by spending less money and you can’t increase your self-esteem by spending more money,” Wallin said. “Self-esteem is such a big issue that how much you spend at Christmas may not make a difference in how you feel about yourself.”
Comparisons can be harmful.
“If you start comparing yourself to other people, you’re more likely to feel lacking in something,” Wallin said. “You’re more likely to feel inadequate. The best thing to do is don’t compare.”
Some of my suggestions for gifts that are still meaningful but won’t empty your pocket are any types of arts and crafts gifts. For example, you can go to a local arts and crafts store and decide on different creative gifts for people. You can knit a blanket or pillow cover, use a latch hook kit and create a mini throw blanket, decorate a T-shirt, make creative cards, design bookmarks or jewelry. There are endless possibilities, and most of those options are way cheaper than buying iPods for all your friends. You could create a CD for your friends full of music they like, or maybe even buy them a small gift like a movie they love and then add the creative gift to that.
Do you have any ideas for how to feel less guilty during the holidays? What are some creative gifts you’ve given to friends and family that didn’t put a dent in your wallet?