I have read many parenting books on every topic from natural remedies to fundamentals of parenting. Even with all those resources and information gained, I continue to question if the parenting decisions that I make are the right ones. Can anyone ever really prepare you for the situations that you will encounter? And is there actually a “right” way to handle them?
When I was about 10 or 12 years old, I developed an interest in wearing makeup. From the time that I was a little girl, I would watch my Mom in awe as she carefully applied eye liner, lipstick and the color on her cheeks that always made her look like she was happy, healthy and energized. Now the time had come when I wanted to put these products on my face. We were shopping together one day when I saw the most beautiful pink and purple eye shadow duo. The vibrant colors with just the hint of sparkle were carefully displayed in perfect circles in a silver case with a mirror on the lid. I wanted to beg and plead to buy that eye shadow but I didn’t dare, I already knew the answer would be, “No. You are too young to wear makeup.” So my pre-teen mind came up with another idea.
I switched to my best sales pitch mode as I tried to talk my Mom into buying the pink and purple duo for herself. As I carefully crafted my words explaining how great those colors would look on my Mom, she looked at me with her eyebrows raised with doubt. Despite the fact that she probably didn’t believe that bright purple eye shadow would be fabulous for her, she still bought it.
The next day I called my best friend who lived down the street and she hurried right over to admire the new purchase. I snuck the new makeup from my Mom's extensive collection and quietly moved it into my room. We took turns using the sponge applicator to smudge heavy purple lines fully across our tiny eyelids. It was truly horrible but we didn’t know any better. We were, however, smart enough to cover up the evidence. As we both put on our sunglasses with the mirrored lenses, we were ready to leave the house for our first day of wearing real makeup.
We rushed through the hallway and began down the stairs to the front door without looking up but shouting a quick “Bye Mom!”
“Not so fast!”
The words stopped us before we could safely reach the door handle. She followed us to the door and after a couple of stalling questions, we knew she was on to us. When she asked me to remove my sunglasses, I took a deep breath and slowly lifted them away. My eyes met hers only for a second before I looked to the floor, ashamed that I had been caught. I was not expecting what would happen next.
My Mom’s pretty face fought back the laughter from the sight of my clown-like appearance. She looked at both my friend and I and asked us if we would like to learn how to put on eye shadow. I will never forget how we raced back up the stairs and to my room as my Mom gathered her make-up remover, cotton balls and small fancy brushes. Fifteen minutes later we both walked out the door with the ever so slight pink and purple shimmer light upon our eyelids. We may have only been going to the neighborhood park, but we were very proud.
That is an experience that will always stick with me. Sometimes you can’t find the right parenting answers in a book, you have to search your heart.