I have always had an overly critical mother who has said horrible things to me since I was as young as 4years old. She usually did this when no one was around, she would then deny or pretend it did not happen. She did not raise me.

I know have a little boy and I feel the need to protect him, so in the past two years, I have limited my contact, informing her that I will not allow her to do this to me any more. For a number of years (after a divorce and job loss), she would help me financially and then try to control me emotionally, constantly reminding me of my faults and mistakes (sometimes going back 30 years), making me retell the reasons for my difficulty over and over again. I finally told her to keep her money, and that my son and I would be fine. The emotional expense was too high, and I had left an abusive marriage to avoid this kind of lifestyle for myself and my son. As a result, she has chosen not to communicate at all, if she can no longer emotionally abuse me. Unfortunately, she has also chosen to associate with her grandson. I never told her that she could not visit or communicate with him, just that the constant complaining and criticism about me would need to stop. I feel that my son is deprived of having a grandmother, but on the other hand she would probably be quite the toxic grandmother. I went to counseling to make sure that I was assisting my son with the transition as much as possible, so the consensus has been that the woman has had mental issues for a long time, probably before I was born. Any thoughts?