The difference between a successful salesperson and a lousy salesperson is his or her ability to not only read what the customer wants, but to convince that person to buy what the salesperson wants him or her to buy. The most effective salesperson is one who has learned to read the body language and facial expression of his or her clients, and use that to get the client to trust him or her.
Studies show that the average door-to-door salesperson has only four seconds to convince the person who answered the door to purchase his or her product. To put that in another perspective, within four seconds of answering the door, the potential buyer has already made up his or her mind whether or not he or she is going to purchase anything. In those four seconds, the potential buyer makes eye contact, studies the seller’s posture, and facial expression. Even before the seller says anything, his or her body language will determine whether the sale is successful or not.
Only about 7 percent of face-to-face communication is through our actual words. That means 93 percent of our communication is non-verbal, including tone and level of voice, eye movement, posture, hand gestures, facial expression, etc. The eyes have always been known as the gateway of the soul because they communicate far more than any other part of the body. A person’s mouth may smile, but it is the eyes that dictate to the observer whether the smile is genuine or not.
Sending Signals
Successful salespeople know how to set their posture and reflect the expression and the body language of the person they are selling to. They know that they can set the tone of the sale and the mood of the buyer with their own body language.
On a more personal level, “[y]our own body language signals can also influence what other people may think or feel about you” (www.kevinhogan.com) and men and women and people of different cultures respond to body movements in different ways, so learning to read body language is crucial to not only effective communication, but also to understanding and enhancing relationships.
For example, in western cultures, not making eye contact is a sign that a person is being dishonest or not actually paying attention, while in other cultures, averting the eyes is a sign of deference or respect.
What makes body language sometimes difficult to interpret is the fact that some people are good at covering up their emotions. They can say one thing with their words and tone of voice, while inside they’re feeling something completely different. An added challenge is trying to communicate or understand people with mental illness or difficulties interpreting and expressing emotions in the first place, since they may not be able to demonstrate their feelings accurately or process the non-verbal signals they’re observing in others. Indeed, they may not even be aware of the non-verbal signals in a conversation.
Upon Reflection
One key to “using” body language and facial expressions in everyday communications is a concept called “mirroring.” Mirroring is when you reflect another person’s facial expressions, words, tone of voice, and posture back to him or her during a conversation. Mirroring shows the talking person that you empathize or identify with his or her position and understand where he or she is coming from. It doesn’t necessarily mean that you agree with what he or she is saying, but he or she is more sure that you understand what he or she is trying to say. This understanding is crucial to the feeling of “being listened to.” No one wants to feel like his or her words and expressed emotions just go in one ear and out the other. In many cases, most people just want to feel understood. Mirroring is one way of engaging the talking person and demonstrating that you hear his or her words and what his or her body language is adding to the words.
Once this trust is established between the observer and the talker, the lines of communication are open. The talker feels that the observer is in touch with his or her feelings. The advantage to mirroring—as opposed to mimicking—is that the observer doesn’t reflect the actual emotion back, but once the trust is established trust he or she can direct the conversation and build on the relationship.
Sources: www.positive-way.com; www.kevinhogan.com; www.businessballs.com; www.mahalo.com; www.marriedandhappy.com