Imagine going from being homeless with a drug addiction to earning a graduate degree and being successful in the eyes of society. It sounds like a fairy tale, right?
For Brenda Combs, life has been full of obstacles. She was homeless and a drug addict for around 10 years. During this time period, she was assaulted, raped, shot in a drive-by shooting, stabbed, burned with cigarettes and abused in multiple ways.
“Eventually it all came to a head when someone stole the shoes off of my feet while I was sleeping in an alley, and that was the last day that I was homeless,” Combs said. “I had to walk a mile with no shoes on in 115-degree heat, and that was it for me. Being a homeless woman and having no shoes, I was going to be victimized, because you can’t run for help with no shoes on.”
This experience later led her to found the organization “Finding My Shoes,” which supplies shoes for homeless people.
After turning herself in, she got help through different programs. She said that a particular program was not what helped her overcome her addiction.
“The difference was me,” Combs said. “I’d finally made the decision that I’m going to take suggestions and I’m going to do whatever they tell me to do, whether I like it or not. And that’s what I did.”
Dealing with judgment and her unlikely story
She is now completely recovered, but realizes that her story is not common and breaks a stereotype.
“The statistics for people overcoming addiction are not good,” Combs said. “I remember being in the program, and I remember the director saying ‘Look around you. Out of 100 people, only six of you will make it.’ Those are horrible odds.”
She added that even just overcoming addiction is a feat, but then being an important, functional part of society is almost unbelievable. Also, for those who are recovered, former drug addicts, a lot of times there is prejudice against them despite their accomplishments.
“What other people think of me is really none of my business,” Combs said. “I can’t control what other people think about me, and I’m not going to … waste my time trying to convince someone to like me or not like me. If people want to be part of Team Brenda, great. And if they don’t, it’s okay.”
Some people are still wary of her major accomplishments in life, but she has no intention of going back to drugs.
“I am not living my life in recovery,” Combs said. “I firmly believe that I recovered.”
Her advice to other women
Combs wishes women could come together as a group and help, support and empower each other. She suggests that everyone look at their lives right now and realize that they have the choice to be happy. She has even written a “positive affirmation” that she and her son say every morning.
“I believe in myself and my ability to do my best because I am intelligent, and I am capable of achieving greatness” is one part of the message she and her son follow.
Also, women need to realize that they need to do their best, not society’s and others’ best. They also need to believe in themselves.
“When you do something to the best of your ability, I think it’s going to give you such a great feeling of self-confidence and accomplishment, and celebrate those accomplishments,” Combs said.
Any regrets?
Through all of Combs’ accomplishments, she has no regrets about her dark past.
“I think that I had to go through 10 years of drug addiction and homelessness and abuse in order to be the woman that I am today,” Combs said.
Despite her rape and other traumatic experiences, she realizes that she can now help other women in similar situations through workshops and lectures.
One way she coped with some traumatic events she experienced, like rape, was by going to a center against sexual abuse. She also utilized other services, like family counseling.
What led to her homelessness and addiction?
Combs said she grew up in a normal household, with a mother and father who emphasized getting an education. However, she had other internal issues.
“At a young age, I developed extremely low self-esteem, and that’s eventually what led me to doing drugs,” Combs said. “I just didn’t feel that I fit in with the girls in my neighborhood.”
She lived in a mostly Black neighborhood and went to a mostly White school. To deal with not fitting in, she turned to the drug crowd. Eventually her drug problems got out of control, which led to her becoming homeless. She said her family tried to help her, but she had to learn on her own what she wanted.
What happened after her recovery?
Drug addiction and homelessness weren’t the only obstacles she had to overcome. After her recovery, she became involved in a toxic relationship with an alcoholic and drug addict who assaulted her while she was pregnant. She gave birth to a son with special needs as a single mother – he had a massive stroke at birth and was paralyzed on his right side in addition to suffering from seizures.
At this point, Combs didn’t have an education and couldn’t give her son the care he needed. She then decided to go to college.
She eventually worked her way through multiple degrees, including a master’s in special education. She also has been involved in different jobs, including a teacher at a charter school, volunteers often and is part of different organizations. She is now finishing her dissertation at 48 and plans to graduate with a doctor of education, or EdD. She’s currently an ambassador of inspiration and achievement, and an online instructor at Grand Canyon University, and has won multiple awards.
Ted Williams
She isn’t the only formerly homeless person who has gotten media attention. Recently, Ted Williams, a former homeless man with an amazing voice, was put into rehab for alcoholism despite his supposed recovery. Combs thinks there is a main reason for this – everything happened too quickly for Williams.
“It was too much,” Combs said, referring to the fame and fortune. “He needed to just be able to learn how to live in society, unfortunately on society’s terms, and he wasn’t prepared for that.”
She said “the best thing that he can do is tell everybody ‘no, I need to take care of Ted right now.’” His golden voice won’t go away, so he needs to recover first.
What do you think of Brenda Combs’ story? Have you over had to overcome multiple obstacles in life? How did you handle them and thrive?