Heights? It’s just a better view. Snakes? They are smooth and friendly creatures. Spiders? Eight legs must be better than two. Well, truthfully, I am not a big fan of any of these things but the thing that I am really phobic about is when strangers use my bathroom. I am not talking about the new neighbors who have come over for dinner or the play date with a mom and her child who have never been to my house before. These are all social functions where I have invited someone into my home and want them to feel comfortable. But I despise it when a company sends a repair or delivery person with a weak bladder or worse.
Most times fear stems from an incident. This is how my phobia began.
Years ago, I was upgrading my cable television service to a satellite company with a DVR. I thought nothing of the 20-something, not especially professional looking young man who the company sent to install my much anticipated receiver and dish. My option of him began to turn negative as he made small talk by telling me how hung over he was and that his stomach was bothering him. Unsympathetically, I began to wonder how much longer he would be at my house. Then he asked to use my bathroom. When he emerged from the bathroom about 20 minutes later and the horrible odor followed him and seeped throughout my hallway, I was ready to cancel my new service and tell him why. He quickly finished the installation and was on his way. As my babies napped, I proceeded to get bleach, disinfectant, and a home-made face mask and tackle the awful job of cleaning up my bathroom. As I scrubbed, I frowned at the happy blue turtles on the shower curtain in the bathroom that my two year old just started using. I couldn’t believe that guy. Seriously, who does that? I vowed to never let it happen again.
Ever since that day, I dread calling anyone to my home for repairs, installations or deliveries. I actually avoid it at almost all costs. Each time I am forced to call someone for an in-home service, I have this fear that they will ask to use my bathroom. I play the conversation over in my mind. I always tell them that there is a public restroom at the grocery store less than five minutes from our house. That is not really rude, right?
Naturally, as we moved into a new house that needed many different people coming in and out, I was in a panic. I nervously wondered if I would have to confront this issue. After days of estimates, repairs, and installations, I was able to rest easy. Even the guy that was there for two hours didn’t ask to use the bathroom. I was so relieved. But today, our new washer and dryer were delivered. One of the men asked to see where it going and I showed him to the laundry room. Once out of the room, I heard him calling me again. I went to see what he needed and then it happened. “Can I use your restroom?” He had already starting walking towards the hall without waiting for my response. My face went from a friendly smile to an uneasy frown. He had been in my house for less than two minutes. He passed a grocery store with a public restroom just before arriving at my house. Why couldn’t he have stopped there? Why does this always happen to me?
My first thought was to say that the water wasn’t working. Darn! He is installing a washer and dryer, he’ll know my bluff. I wanted to ask him to please go to the public restroom at the store that was just around the corner. But the reality was that I wanted my appliances hooked up correctly. (“Sorry that your washer leaked and ruined your floors!”) For the same reason that you don’t complain to the chef at a restaurant, phobia or not, you can’t do anything that could make you look like a jerk if you need someone to do a good job for you.
So I tried to think of something to say to discourage him. As I hesitated, I stuttered something about not having window coverings in the bathrooms. His answer: “That’s okay.” Great. Then finally, reluctantly, I showed him to the bathroom that my little boys share and tried to block the image of what could be happening in there once the door was closed.
Once the install was completed, I closed and locked the front door and raced to grab the cleaner and run to the bathroom. Strange as it is, I still fear strangers using my bathroom.