Sex is an important part of life. It’s more than just the physical act of intercourse. Yet, talking to your daughter about it can be daunting.
Studies show 62 to 70 percent of high school seniors are having sex. Even if your daughter isn’t, there’s little doubt she’s thinking about it. Many turn to friends or the web for information about sex, but studies show it’s really their parents they want to go to with questions.
Here are ten tips for talking with your daughter about sex.
1. Let the conversation come up naturally. Keep the tone causal and don’t lecture. There's no need to schedule an official meeting with your daughter. Try talking in the car or before she goes to bed.
2. Start talking about sex when your daughter is in her preteen/middle school years.
3. It’s normal if some of the details are embarrassing for you both. Just let your daughter know you’re ready and willing to answer all of her questions, no matter how sensitive the subject.
4. Give the right information. Do your own research. Talk about anatomy and reproduction, sexual intercourse, pregnancy, birth control, peer pressure, and sexually transmitted diseases. Expand that to other sexual issues you think will be helpful for your daughter.
5. Instead scaring your daughter with pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases, stress other reasons why it's important to wait before having sex.
6. Discuss sex in the context of a loving, mature relationship. According to Dr. Phil McGraw, “You need to explain this is something that has to be framed in a relationship after you've grown up and there's love and commitment and a history and an understanding that you have to be responsible with your body."
7. Keep it age-appropriate. Don't give information she doesn't understand. For example, preteens may not need to know about orgasms.
8. You don’t have to divulge any personal information that makes you uncomfortable. Daughters may ask about their mothers’ own sexual history. According to Roni Cohen-Sandler, author of “Stressed-Out Girls: Helping Them Thrive in the Age of Pressure, you can say, “I understand why you're curious, and that's okay. But it doesn't matter when I did these things. What matters is when it's right for you to do them.”
9. Be comfortable with your own sexuality. Talking honestly and openly about sex will help your daughter accept her sexuality as a normal part of life.
10. Talking about sex won't cause her to rush out and "do it". In fact, studies show teens who discuss it with their parents are more likely to wait longer before having sex and use contraception.
Sources:
http://www.sheknows.com/love-and-sex/articles/806908/expert-tips-for-talking-to-your-daughter-about-sex
http://www.sheknows.com/health-and-wellness/articles/803676/time-to-have-the-sex-talk-with-your-teen
http://www.webmd.com/parenting/daughter-development-evaluator/default.htm
http://www.drphil.com/articles/article/162
http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/12723114/ns/today-parenting/t/tips-talking-your-daughter-about-sex/
http://www.webmd.com/sex-relationships/guide/talking-to-your-kids-about-sex
Reviewed May 23,2011
Edited by Alison Stanton