I have suffered anorexia for about 9 years and have not menstruated for about 8. I am about 45-46kg currently, up from about 40kg usual weight ( I am approx 5'1 or 155cm in height). I eat a healthy diet but fairly low in calories (between 1,500 and 1,900 on most days) and I do exercise quite alot (average of 1 hour cycling and 1.5 hrs daily-sometimes less). I was on the pill for about 5-6 years but have been off it for nearly a year. I am feeling good about being healthier but am struggling to love my new body and am depressed about the extra weight. I feel huge but want to fall pregnant after 3 years of marriage. I get 'period-like' pains and get alot of white discharge.
my questions are:
1. Do I need to increase my weight to fall pregnant ( i have a BMI of approx 19.7 currently) and by how much?
2. How do I reduce my exercise without putting on too much weight ( i have heard alot of recovered anorexics store fat more eaisliy and sometimes end up overweight due to slower metabolism)
3. How do I stop hating how I look even though I know that I am not fat I feel it and am very depressed about how I look.
I Dont have alot of money to go to dieticians and psychologists
Please help!!