Whether your adult children live in another state or in your upstairs bedroom, sometimes it’s difficult to see them as grown-ups making their own decisions. It’s also tough to let go when you feel they still need guidance or may not respect you enough even if they’re over 30.
The important thing to remember is that now that your kids are adults leading their own lives, you have to respect their boundaries as you would like them to respect yours.
If you are doing the following, you may be a high-maintenance parent.
10. If you are upset because your child hasn’t called in a week and then reprimand him when he/she actually does call you, you may be a high-maintenance parent.
9. When you give your child a holiday gift and are disappointed because you received a lesser-priced gift back, you may be a high-maintenance parent.
8. If you don’t have any friends other than your adult children and are jealous of their friends, you may be a high-maintenance parent.
7. When you walk into your adult child’s house unannounced at any time of the day (like Marie Barone on "Everybody Loves Raymond"), you may be a high-maintenance parent.
6. If you are divorced from your child’s father and keep score as to how many times they visit him versus you, you may be a high-maintenance parent.
5. If you frequently lend your child money and wonder why she/he doesn’t treat you with more respect, you may be a high-maintenance parent.
4. If you are jealous of your child’s stepmother and feel left out when your child spends time with her, you may be a high-maintenance parent.
3. If you frequently point out faults about your child’s spouse and often say to your child, “You could do better”, you may be a high-maintenance parent.
2. If you expect your child to be on call for your every need and drop everything to help you first, you may be a high-maintenance parent.
1. When your adult child posts something on Facebook that bothers you and you respond with an inappropriate comment that embarrasses you both, you may be a high-maintenance parent.
As a parent, we sometimes have issues and patterns that we are not even aware of. If any of these tips sound like you, then you may be a high-maintenance parent and you need to GET A LIFE! ☺
Sources and Related Reading:
Huffpost Healthy Living - How High-Maintenance Relationships Affect Your Psyche. Web. 29, December, 2011
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/11/20/emotional-vampires_n_1103872.html
Healthy Lifestyle Plus – Women and Self Esteem: are you a high-maintenance friend? Web. 29, December, 2011
http://www.healthylifestyleplus.com/mind/women-and-self-esteem-are-you-a-high-maintenance-friend-3-hard-questions-to-ask-yourself
Psychology Today Blog – The Power of Prime – Parenting: respect starts at home. Web. 29, December, 2011
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-power-prime/201001/parenting-respect-starts-home
Oprah – Relationships – Improve Your Mother/Daughter Relationship. Web. 29, December 2011
http://www.oprah.com/relationships/Improve-Your-Mother-Daughter-Relationship/4
Reviewed December 29, 2011
by Michele Blacksberg RN
Edited by Jody Smith