Sexual Intelligence: What We Really Want From Sex – and How to Get It. Marty Klein, Ph.D. New York: HarperCollins, 2012. 242 pp.
What if a self-help book proclaimed orgasm shouldn’t be the goal of good sex? And that self-acceptance is more valuable than mastering a new sexual position? What if the author promised to make it impossible to fail at sex?
In Dr. Marty Klein’s book, "Sexual Intelligence: What We Really Want From Sex – and How to Get It," he claims Sexual Intelligence will make your sex life less complicated and more enjoyable.
Klein has spent the last three decades working with people on improving their sex lives and relationships. A certified sex therapist and sex educator, marriage therapist and sociologist, his book addresses those experiencing sexual dissatisfaction.
He says the solution is simple: change the way you think about sex, and you can change your sex life -- forever. And the vehicle to do that is Sexual Intelligence.
According to the book, “Sexual Intelligence means dealing with sexuality in a straightforward way; rather than hiding it, denying it, or blaming it. You talk about it.” In a nutshell, the book isn’t about functioning better or fixing the mechanics of sex, it’s about developing Sexual Intelligence in order to relax and enjoy your body, your partner and the situation.
With Sexual Intelligence, Klein says the focus is on self-knowledge, self-acceptance and communication. He believes that’s a better approach to resolving sexual dissatisfaction.
Using real-life examples from his own patients and years of practical experience, Klein walks the reader through the basics of Sexual Intelligence, how to develop it, and how to use it.
According to him, the end result is better sex. Although he’s clear from the beginning, this version of better sex doesn’t necessarily mean fireworks and multiple orgasms. It’s about having a new vision of sex where there is no right or wrong.
Sexual Intelligence talks to the reader on laymen’s terms. The text is interspersed with witty comments and never feels like a medical dissertation. There’s a lot of information packed in the book. Some might say too much, as it can feel overwhelming at times.
This may be appropriate, however, since developing Sexual Intelligence takes effort. Klein warns from the beginning, change is hard work. He gives practical tips throughout to help readers cultivate and hone their own Sexual Intelligence.
This book won’t help fix erectile dysfunction or lubrication difficulties and it doesn’t claim to, but Sexual Intelligence is definitely a worthwhile read for those who aren’t getting what they want out of sex.
Edited by Jody Smith